Motivation Monday: Meh.

Many weeks I write my Motivation Monday post over the weekend and schedule it to publish early on Monday morning. Not this week. I'm writing it early Monday morning before I get into the swing of the morning rush for school, followed by running, followed by working, followed by after-school activities. Assuming Kiddo doesn't wake up sick this morning. She's had some mild cold symptoms.

After the pep talk I gave myself in last week's post, I completely did not follow my own advice. Prioritizing running was hard last week. Work, weather, the school schedule. Sure, it's all excuses that I could have risen above but I didn't. Because I'm human.

This is a new week. I'm looking ahead to possible sick days and snows days. I did some meal prep over the weekend so that I can spend the time on running, working, and parenting without having to worry about decently healthy breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. One day soon I'll write a whole post on meal prepping. I do it in a rather slow and lazy way. You will not find a hundred matching single-serve containers in my freezer. So stay tuned for that!

As you can see I didn't come anywhere near last week's mileage goal. I'm going to try again this week. Look at the weather, Tuesday is the warmest day this week and I'd like to do a long run then, hopefully getting out there before the rain drops, and possibly snowflakes, start falling.

Motivation Monday: Shutdown

I figured out how to add my stats to a photo!

This week the shutdown really started to get to me. We are not as bad off as some other families but it is definitely affecting our moods and our spending habits. And we have our own sort of survival guilt over the things we have to be thankful for, because other people don't have some of those things.

I'm continuing with my training for my spring races. Every day I say to myself that I could be using the time for one more hour of work that could make us a little more money. But then I say to myself that the race registrations are already paid for, so not training and then not being able to run the races would be a waste of money. And, realistically, my brain needs that hour off from writing and emails and worry.

If you see someone running or working out, in real life or on social media, don't roll your eyes and wonder why they're doing that when they should be working / parenting / whatever else you think they should be doing. Twenty-three hours out of the day, they may be doing those other things, plus hopefully getting some sleep. A lot of us are hustling right now for a variety of reasons. Give people their hour to run and shower. And examine how much time you're spending on social media before you question someone else's use of time.

Winter is socked in here. I did get outside this week and I plan to whenever it's feasible. I also finally figured out the trick of getting your running stats printed on the bottom of your photo. This has eluded me for years and it may be a small thing, but I'm tickled by it.

I'm not a huge treadmill fan but I'm warming up to it and can do about an hour if I have a good podcast to listen to. I've said this before, but one thing I will never do is call it the "dreadmill." I will also never use the term "junk miles" to refer to any run. Using negative terms puts my mind into failure mode before I've even started the run. I'm reframing it as a mental challenge. This is what has to be done in order to get in the training I need or the workout I need. It should be no different than any other workout that I'm not in the mood for. Why should I put an additional layer of negativity on it?

Thanks to those treadmill miles I reached my goal for this week, and a little extra because I felt good.

Motivation Monday: Sick

Last week's meager mileage

Training program for the last week = rest while I get over what might have been strep throat. I did nothing last week. I did a little work, but I work from home so that was mostly done from the couch. I napped a lot. I drank lots of water and decaf tea. My doctor gave me prescription-strength ibuprofen to help with some of the aches and pains until a strep throat diagnosis could be confirmed or ruled out. The rapid test only tests for one strain, so I had to wait several days for results to come in to see if I had one of the other strains.

I didn't. I just had a weird cold that was acting more like strep throat. I'm starting to feel well enough for some easy running.

But now it's snowing. I had planned on January being a base-mileage month for me and I was prepared to get those miles outside, even if it was cold. I had wanted to get as many of them in as possible before the snow started because, yes, even with Yak Trax, I'm afraid to run on slippery roads, sidewalks, and paths. I've fallen too many times and as I'm getting older, those bumps and bruises hurt more and take longer to heal. I know everyone who gives me advice on running outside in bad weather means well, but there are times when I'm not going to take the chance.

I'm not the kind of person who can run through a cold, either. Not always, at least. When my body says "Sleep," I sleep. When my body says, "I'm a little uncomfortable but could handle an easy run," I go for that easy run. There's way too much "Just do it! Tough it out! Don't be a wimp!" and not enough "Listen to your body and rest when you need it," in running these days. It's a main reason I stay out of most online running groups and forums. I don't want to be made to feel bad about my decision to rest when I'm sick. I've been running since I was 15 and these kinds of comments can still get to me. I can only imagine how hurtful and damaging they might be to a newcomer to the sport. We should be encouraging new runners to listen to their bodies. Let them have their own series of trials and errors to figure out what's right for them. Encouragement to move combined with empathy for an injury or illness that prevents the workout from getting done.

So I rested for a week. And I will be getting treadmill miles done if I don't feel comfortable going outside in certain conditions. And I will be comfortable with my limitations and my goals, and when I'm no longer comfortable with them, I will change them. 

Motivation Monday: Five Trail Races Between March and May

The whole family got muddy on New Year's Day, me trail running
and Mike and Muffin mountain biking.

Last year I ran around somewhat aimlessly, just trying to recover from injury while still wanting to run the Army Ten Miler. I had no real training plan, other than going to my chiropractor regularly and making sure to do yoga and strength training. After a Did Not Finish at the Blessing ten-mile race in Narragansett in July, I was more determined to pay attention to my injury and caring for it. I also started looking at my diet, too. I absolutely did not have to lose weight and that was not my goal. However, eating a little healthier has not only given me strength for injury recovery and running more, but jeans and t-shirts that were beginning to feel uncomfortably tight started feeling comfortable again.

With injury prevention and running more in mind, I came to the realization that I was bored running on roads. Last spring I'd started seeking out trails to run on a regular basis and began enjoying it more than my road runs. The slower pace seems to suit my aging body without exacerbating injuries. So I started looking at trail races in the area. I found that Virginia has tons of them. After doing a bit of research, I decided to sign up for The North Face Endurance Challenge half-marathon distance at the end of April. Once I signed up for that, Facebook started advertising even more trail races in my feed. They are all so tempting. When I came across the Backyard Burn trail race series, I saw that they had a five-mile option for each of the four races. Three of the races occur before TNFEC so I thought that shorter races would give me the feel for trail racing without taxing my training at all. So I signed up for all four in the series during the early registration discount period. The last one is the weekend after TNFEC. I figure even if I'm still exhausted from the half marathon the weekend before, I can still fast walk it within the time limit and get my series finisher prize.

Weekly and yearly mileage as of
Saturday, January 5

January is my base mileage month. I'm already eating tons of food and taking naps at every chance. I'm setting small goals and taking it day by day. I'm doing a lot of yoga. I'm managing my time and planning and prepping meals as much as I can.

I don't plan on running the Army Ten Miler this year. After three years I'm ready to try something else. There's a fall Backyard Burn series as well. Maybe by then I'll be ready to run all four of them at the ten-mile distance rather than five.

For now, it's one day at a time. Run, eat, sleep, repeat. Work and parent and be a good partner in between those, too.

I Feel Compelled to Discuss Literature and Menstruation

Since I’ve been going through A Tale of Two Cities and changing the genders, I can’t help but keep rolling my eyes at how Lucie (who will become Lucas, I believe) is treated like a child, yet I’m sure that a male character of the same age and experience would be treated like a an adult (a male adult). I keep thinking about how women have been displayed as weak, silly, and unable to face danger, or even mild unpleasantness in literature, and then movies and television, since forever.

And here’s where there might be too much information for some readers: When I last got my period I started thinking about how women have been menstruating since the dawn of humans. Menstruation is messy and can be painful. Anyone who says women can’t handle pain or who accuses them of being squeamish must not be aware of the discomfort, and sometimes pain, of menstruation, not to mention the managing of all the blood. No matter what a woman is doing to manage her period, whether it’s pads, tampons, or cups, there is blood involved.

So, squeamish my ass.

It doesn’t matter if she gets up and goes to work in an office, a school, a factory, with her period or if she goes running or if she parents all day. The next time you’re tempted to think of women as weak or silly, remember that they get their periods. And they go to work, and they workout, and they parent through all the discomfort and blood.

When women are in situations where a man is pressuring them into sexual activity or else he’ll get “blue balls,” I’d like women to start saying, “Well I get menstrual cramps once a month and I manage to survive.”

We still have this societal notion of women being “the weaker sex.” And it’s nonsense. Women shouldn’t have to talk about their periods of they don’t want to. But men are not going to understand what actually goes on down there unless some women do because we’ve relied on pop culture for too long and pop culture hasn’t educated people properly on menstruation.

I’m almost done with my first full edit of A Tale of Cities. I think I might post chapters here on my blog as I finalize each one.

Motivation Monday: Day 99

Yesterday's run.

Today will be Day 99 of the run streak. Some of my friends are going for one hundred days. Some of my friends are aiming for a whole year. Today I’m aiming just to get one mile in. I’m tired. It’s cold. But I have access to a treadmill so I could turn on a podcast and easily zone out for a bit. As soon as I find the motivation to change my jeans for running shorts.

That’s about it for today. 

Motivation Monday: Avoiding the Plague

A run in Rhode Island, February 2014

Today is Day 78 of the run streak. Last week I took advantage of warm weather and ran outside several days, getting a few 5K days in there. But mostly the streak has been one mile at a time. This morning we met some friends for a hike. I started out ahead of everyone to run a mile then meet up with the group. Mike carried an overcoat and over-pants for me because even after the run I was going to need another layer to stay warm on a hike. Yesterday I ran a mile on the treadmill then drove to farmers’ market instead of running or walking the mile to the market like I usually do. I discovered a couple weeks ago that the running to the market part isn’t so bad in sub-freezing temperatures but walking around and shopping at the market in my sweaty running clothes when it's that cold is not amazing. (It really sucks, honestly.)

I haven’t felt great for a few days. I’ve had cold symptoms that never seem to fully materialize into an actual cold or flu. As long as I don’t have a fever, though, I’ll continue to run. When my body tells me to sleep, I’m sleeping. I’m trying to drink a lot of water and eat fruits and vegetables for vitamins. But there was a day I ate nothing but muffins and I’m okay with that. (That was probably my sickest day, when I slept from one in the afternoon until seven the next morning.)

It's that time of year when New Year's resolutions, or new healthy habits, or whatever you want to call them, become endangered so soon after trying to make them because of the winter weather and all that comes with it. It's so much easier to run through the winter in San Diego than in Rhode Island. I'm going to listen to my body and rest when I need it. I'm going to listen to my experience that tells me not to brave icy sidewalks because I've fallen twice in the past year (and not even on ice, just regular sidewalks) and each fall took me out of running for a couple weeks. I can't make those decisions for anyone else, though. It's a time to get creative with treadmills and home workouts. It's a time to invest in some good gear in order to stay warm if you choose to go outside. And, really, I can't over-emphasize the importance of some good rest.

Motivation Monday: Snow Days

Frozen Narragansett Bay at low tide back on Run Streak Day 60

Today will be day 71 of my run streak. Between the cold weather, school holiday break, and snow days, it’s been difficult to get outside and it’s been difficult to find the time for more than one mile but I’m keeping the streak alive so far. Today is another snow day and I’ll get down to the fitness room in our building for another mile on the treadmill. I’m reminding myself that the running makes me a happy, healthy person. That it’s okay for Kiddo to play with my phone for fifteen minutes so I can get it done. She sometimes hops on the treadmill next to me for a quarter mile or so, then plays with the giant exercise balls. (A current favorite activity of hers is to bellyflop onto one and roll it across the room.)

It’s only January 8th but it already feels like it's been a long, dark winter. I have no specific races in mind this year. I have nothing specific to train for. I don’t know why I’m doing this daily running, except I guess I want to have a decent base for when I do decide on a race.

On Friday’s snow day I took Kiddo to the climbing gym. It was nearly empty, which surprised me. Since it was a cold-weather day, not a bad-weather day, I expected more people to have gotten their kids out of the house for some indoor activity to wear them out. But Kiddo and I pretty much had the run of the place. After a few climbs where I belayed her, we decided to go to the bouldering side of the gym, where you climb without ropes. Kiddo attacked the wall. She was at the top before I could blink. And she wanted to keep trying over and over again. I managed to get her to sit still for a few minutes so I could get some climbs in. It was wonderful to hear her cheer for me when I got to the top. I realized that I need to see her boundless enthusiasm to continue encouraging me and she needs to see me continuing to try new things and tackle new challenges even if I’m tired or in a bad mood.

She and I spend so much time together, she watches everything I do and gets her cues from me.
And I guess that’s why I’m going on with the run streak even on these dull, dark days. I have no physical or mental reason not to. Kiddo sees me having my activities, my life, and making it a priority, even if it’s only for fifteen minutes out of the day.

Motivation Monday -- I Fell Down

Yeah. It's Tuesday again. I'll get the hang of this one of these weeks.

I'm a little bummed out. I fell while running on Saturday morning. I tripped on a bump in the sidewalk. It's so stupid. I'm not as scraped up as my last fall, but my right knee is still fairly bruised and swollen. Yesterday I Frankenstein shuffled around the grocery store and it exhausted me. Today I'd like to try walking one mile. The few pounds I'd lost the last two months have migrated back on because I haven't been as active as I'd like to be and we were traveling for a couple days so it was difficult to eat as well as I'd like to.

The Army Ten Miler is in less than a month. With my hamstring and IT band I'd been beginning to think I was going to have a nice, slow run rather than aim for a PR. Now I don't know what's going to happen. I'm keeping the race in mind but I'm sure I'm leaning more toward a nice, slow run than a PR at this point. Somewhat ironically, my hamstring and IT band feel a lot better so maybe this forced rest is actually going to do me some good.

I'm trying to be more conscious about drinking water and eating lighter until I'm back into training mode.

For now, though, I really want to curl up with a book and a hot cup of coffee.

Motivation Monday -- Blerg. It's Tuesday Again.

Because of the holiday yesterday I thought it was Monday when I started writing this post. I ran early this morning and started writing down the thoughts I had as soon as I got home.

I love reading Runner's World. I've been a subscriber on and off since I was a teenager. Maybe it's because I've been reading it for so long that I find a lot of it tedious now and I have a rather love/hate relationship with it. I like reading the recipes but I always question the necessity of so much flaxseed. I ran just fine in high school and college without ground flaxseed. And most runners who aren't Olympic athletes or world champions will, too. There's often the obligatory "We're cool enough to drink beer or wine" article that always makes me feel like it's only okay to do that because a half marathon was just run, but drinking a drink every day might have negative consequences on performance. (Performance against whom, though?)

What really grinds me gears, though, is the occasional article for beginners about how all you really need is a pair of shoes and the desire to do it.

And after they tell you that all you really need is a pair of shoes and the desire to do it, there are pages and pages of reviews and advertisements for all the gear they just told you you don't really need. A watch. And a tech shirt because "cotton is rotten." And this sports bra and these socks. And a hat. And, forget a water bottle, you need a hydration system, even if you're only going out for a mile or two and it has to have pouches for your gel. It should ideally have a pocket for your iPhone with the perfect playlists for any workout. And this jacket for rain and this one for snow and this one for the two days in spring when it might rain and be chilly and get sunny later. Heaven forbid you be wet or cold or hot or hungry or without music for five or ten minutes.

Running is the simplest sport in the world yet we've somehow made it difficult. We've added materialism to a basic human body movement. I know some people like gadgets and stuff. I know a magazine's main job is to make money through advertising. But I hate that someone looking to give running a try might get overwhelmed and give up because they give a crap about whether or not they have the right gear. You really do just need a good pair of shoes and the desire to do it. Forget all the crap.

Motivation Monday (On Tuesday): Choose to Help

I motivated myself so much yesterday that I didn't have a chance to even think about blogging. Obviously I haven't done much blogging recently anyway. I have lots of ideas, though, and thought a Motivation Monday (On Tuesday) post would help get me back into the writing flow.

Here's what's up. School started yesterday. I joined many tired-looking parents on the running trail at about 9:05 yesterday morning, just after the school busses finished their rounds of the neighborhood. I ran more than three miles for the first time since the Blessing ten-mile road race about a month ago. My IT band injury has migrated to my hamstring and it hurts like a son-of-a-gun but I have some additional stretches and an icing and heating routine to add to my stretching and running and resting routine. So, it's taking me more time to run fewer miles but I am still confident in my ability to run the Army Ten Miler in October. At the Blessing I tied my time from last year's ATM. I'm hoping to beat that time at this year's ATM.

I'm also doing some writing things and working on book reviews to share.

I made an appointment to donate blood today. Whether it stays in my community or gets sent to Texas, it's one of the few things that costs no money but will greatly benefit someone else. If you want to help, too, look for a blood donation drive in your area or send money directly to benefit Texas: Click here. It doesn't matter who the president is or what Congress is up to. We can choose to help, even from a distance.

I also voted in our county school board election today. Local elections make the biggest impact on the community.

What have you done to serve your community today?

Your Basic Motivation Monday Stuff. And Dancing Frappuccinos.

Last Monday, 6:47 a.m.: It's going to be hot today but I feel ready for my eight miles. I can't leave until 9:00, after Muffin gets on the bus, so plenty of time for breakfast and more water.

During the run I struggled with the heat. For most of it I imagined a huge Midnight Mint Mocha Frappuccino dancing on the path in front of me.

It never occurred to me to search for frappuccino gifs before.

Making healthy decisions when I'm well-rested and well-hydrated it easy. Making them when I'm tired and hot is not so I'm very pleased with myself for not pulling out my phone and ordering a frappuccino to be ready when I passed the Starbucks near my home. Instead I made a mint mocha protein shake at home. It wasn't the same, obviously, but it wasn't bad and I know it was better for me.

I didn't get my eight miles, though. I barely got seven and the last mile was mostly walking along shady, tree-lined streets. The temperature rose twelve degrees while I was running. I think losing some of my fitness means I've lost some of my heat acclimatization. Burundi, India, Mali. Summers in Rhode Island, Florida, Washington, D.C. I'm a lover of heat and humidity. It's a lot harder to face it now, though.

This morning I had six miles on my training plan. I had to do a little shuffling around of workouts. Muffin was home sick last Friday when I'd planned on this six-miler. We had a busy weekend but I did manage a short run/walk while she was in karate on Saturday and she and I walked together on Sunday morning. (A walk at her pace does help me get my steps in and encourages me to drink plenty of water but it's hardly a workout for me.) Looking at the week ahead, today and tomorrow are really the only days I have time for significant workouts so I have no choice but to make it work. Six miles today and the climbing gym tomorrow, then whatever else I can squeeze in all the other days.

Despite temperatures falling a bit it was still hot and sunny out there this morning. I did my six miles. I did pull out my phone a quarter mile from home and order an iced latte with soy milk to pick up when I ran by that Starbucks. I came home and drank it with leftover roasted garlic and broccoli quinoa salad.

This morning I tried on a pair of shorts from last summer and they almost fit. They are the gauge I'm using rather than the scale. Maybe all the quinoa and ab workouts are starting to pay off.

This is the last week of school for Muffin. After that my schedule will be all out of whack and I have no idea what I'm going to do.

Expectations vs. Limitations

"You'll never be more than alive
You'll never do more than survive
Until you expect it"
~10,000 Maniacs - Few And Far Between

Yes, I've gotten to the point where I'm quoting favorite songs from my teen years for inspiration. (On that same playlist, "I think about the time, I kicked a boy 'til he cried," The Sundays.)

I've been loosely following a training schedule to get ready for my two ten-mile races. This is the first week where I'm feeling the craziness of trying to fit it all in. Mike's out of town and I have some volunteer commitments at Muffin's school. I can only run during her school hours anyway, which limits me if I have any other plans during the day. A couple hours of writing/working is nice to accomplish regularly. I also need to eat, and feed Muffin, which means I need to make time for grocery shopping and cooking. I'll let the dishes and laundry pile up for days, though. It's not as urgent as the eating and the running.

My weekday runs this week are supposed to be a five miler and an eight miler. Yesterday I planned to run but when I woke up I wasn't feeling it and went to the climbing gym instead. I'm perfectly happy with that decision because I felt great by the end of the day and I woke up ready to run this morning. With my IT band acting up, though, I was hesitant to commit to eight miles. Generally I tell my body, "Run X miles," and my body does it without questioning me. I think that's how I got injured in the first place, however, so I need to rethink that strategy.

Part of me really wanted to get the eight miles over with because this morning was the only time I have until next Monday to fit in a long run. The me of two or three years ago would have said, "Fuck it! Run the eight miles and care not about the tiredness and injuries. You'll bounce back!" But the me of right now really doesn't want to be in pain if it can be avoided.

I chose a route that put me at Metro stations at mile five and mile eight so I could gauge how I felt along the way and decided when to bag it and head home. I kind of knew I was only going to run five miles but I didn't want to rule out eight until I'd honestly assessed how my IT band felt.

Things felt not great. Despite rolling and stretching, my quad was tight and there was some tenderness in my calf. Between miles three and four I had a running dialogue in my head between younger me and current me about stopping at five miles or not. Older, wiser, lamer, safer current me won. I detoured off the path and around a small park before arriving at a Metro station at 5.1 miles. It was absolutely the right choice. By the time I'd gone through the turnstile and gotten onto the train platform, my left calf had seized up in what I assume is anger at having taken it out running. 

Four days of walking and yoga should prepare me for a longer run on Monday. I've trained for enough races to know that I still have plenty of time to get those eight- and ten-mile runs in before the first race at the end of July. I'm still trying to figure out my new limitations before I can tell my body what I expect from it.

Glutened!

I've been gluten-free due to celiac disease since 2003. For the most part I've been awesome about managing it and the gluten-free market has improved so significantly since then that I sometimes just stop in the grocery store, staring in disbelief at all the choices that didn't exist ten years ago. I've lived in and traveled through several countries without major incidents. I don't get to eat every delicious food that crosses my path. I give up a lot of treats just because I can't be certain. I always remind myself that my health is worth more than that one amazing dessert.

I had gluten once in Bamako, in July 2014, within days of my arrival. I knew what I'd done; I recognized the pattern of my gastrointestinal distress as what happens when I eat gluten. As a precaution I went to the doctor to rule out parasites and food poisoning because I was in a new country with different food safety practices and germs I hadn't been exposed to before. They treated me for dehydration. I lost several pounds. It was a shaky start to my time in a new country but I recovered.

The culprit of the gluten was unexpected but quickly determined. Beef brochettes at a pizza place. There was so much flour being tossed around the kitchen with abandon that it covered every food inadvertently. And thus the psychological aspect of celiac disease set in. In a place where I already felt isolated by being an outsider, I couldn't frequent one of the most popular expat restaurants with my friends. One time I tried drinking a glass of wine while my friends ate but it was hard to smell the pizza and the grilling meat and watch everyone else enjoy it while I couldn't even eat the inherently gluten-free dishes.

For almost three years, all over France, Mali, Austria, Kenya, and the United States, I avoided gluten until a few weeks ago. There are two pizza places in our neighborhood and they both do a decent gluten-free pizza. I still prefer the one I make at home but sometimes I want to have pizza in a restaurant with my friends and family so I've come to rely on these two restaurants. I ordered my usual gluten-free pizza for pickup to take to a friend's house for dinner.

The pizza in question.

 By the time we sat down to eat I was so hungry that I ate two slices before I realized it was too delicious to be a gluten-free pizza. I'm not going to lie. After the initial horror of discovering it I was tempted to eat more since I was going to get sick already. But I didn't. I did finish off Mike's beer, since I hadn't had real beer, other than an occasional tiny sip, in so long.

Then I anxiously awaited the pain in the lower left side of my abdomen that usually signifies gluten poisoning. I barely slept that night, wondering if it was the gluten causing my sleeplessness or the nerves of waiting for the symptoms that caused it. By the next morning my stomach was still fine and I began to question everything that had happened. It wasn't a relief to not be sick. It was more nerve wracking than usual, knowing that I'd eaten gluten but my symptoms weren't manifesting in their usual way.

By about noon I realized what was going on. Inflammation. I'd never had it before but I knew it was a common symptom for many people. Full body ache. Exhaustion. Skin so sensitive I recoiled when Muffin tried to hold my hand. My plan had been to bring my pizza leftovers back to the restaurant to find out what happened with my order. By the time Mike got home from work I could barely get off the couch without great discomfort so he took them back for me, explaining to the manager that I was too sick to go myself.

To the manager's credit, according to Mike he was horrified. My receipt said "gluten-free" on it and my crust was clearly not their gluten-free crust. He looked up the name of the person who prepared my order so he could yell at him. He refunded us for the pizza and gave Mike a gift card for fifty dollars. He told Mike he wanted the chance to make it up to me personally, once my appetite for pizza from their restaurant returned. Two days later the manager called me to see how I was doing.

I was much better, gluten-wise, by the time he called, but the gluten weakened my immune system enough that the horrible cold Muffin had had, that I'd thought I'd successfully fended off, moved on in. I was still on the couch, although from a chest cold and sinus infection rather than inflammation.

And the thing is, unlike when I have the gastrointestinal problems from gluten, I never lost my appetite, even for pizza. Again the psychological games spring up, having to rebuild my trust with that restaurant. But a week later I was at the other restaurant enjoying a pizza while the waiter talked about how they recently changed to a new gluten-free crust that customers said was tastier than the old one. (It was pretty good, as far as gluten-free crusts go.)

Mainly I'm angry because it was one more setback after a winter and spring of injuries and illness. One more week that I couldn't run as much as I wanted to. A few more days that I couldn't do any kind of workout. It was while I was sick on the couch that I signed up for the two ten-mile races for later this year. I'm tired of being sick and injured and I really want to stay on track.

Time for Some Changes

I got caught in the rain this morning.

Dang! I completely forgot about the movie challenge. I'll pick it back up soon. I still have a lot of great movies to talk about.

I've been jotting down a lot of notes and random sentences and paragraphs the last few weeks. They are not going to become one very long blog post but I think it's time to start developing them into something I can share.

Last week I signed up for two ten-mile races, one in July and one in October. I haven't raced any distance since the Marine Corps Marathon last October. My longest run since then has been about seven miles and that was back in March when I thought I was going to run a half marathon in April. I knew I wasn't ready for it, though, between the injury and some other health issues that cropped up so I backed off running and started doing some serious thinking about my health and my habits.

I'm recovering from an injury that came up during marathon training, disappeared with ice, stretching, and rest, and then hit me like a sack of bricks during the race. At this point I feel like I will probably be managing it for the rest of my life, but at least I can manage it with stretching and strength training and cross training. It's my IT band across my left hip and sometimes in my left calf. If I sleep wrong, I wake up in the middle of the night with pain in my hip and I have to figure out how to fall back to sleep and rearrange my workout routine for the next day.

Since I turned forty a little over a year ago I feel like I've been in a constant battle with my body. One friend put it this way: At forty plus one day, all your warranties start expiring. I know my body isn't the same as it was in my twenties and my thirties and there's only so much I have control over of my forty-year-old body. I'm not thrilled with my body right now. Summer clothes from last year don't fit and it's not because I got so muscular from marathon training. It's because I've eaten too much macaroni and cheese.

I'm trying to come to terms with the difference between accepting my body and accepting the changes that I have to make in order to maintain a body that I want. I need more quality rest. I need more water and less sugar. I need more stretching. I need to make the time to be cognizant of the little changes I need to make regularly in order to fit back into those favorite shorts and skirts from last summer. I'm pretty sure that eating less junk food and exercising more is going to be cheaper than buying new clothes.

I'm not on a diet, other than the gluten-free one that I have to be on. I am being more aware of the calories I choose to put into my mouth, although I've decided that some of those calories are going to be chocolate and wine. I've got a ten-mile race training plan that involves a lot of cross training in order to take the pressure off my injury-prone areas while still building strength and endurance. I'm making my family eat more vegetables, since I'm the one who does most of the grocery shopping, meal planning, and cooking, and I'm not inclined to make different snacks and meals for every family member. If I'm putting this much effort into our food, it's going to be good for all of us.

One of the things that has held me back from wanting to make some changes is struggling with how my child might perceive these changes. She's six. I don't want her to know that I'm unhappy with my body right now. I want her to see exercise as a fun activity that sometimes we do as a family and sometimes Mommy and Daddy do as individuals, and that eating healthy gives us the energy for everything we do, whether it's swimming with friends or going to work or school.

This is hard. 

I'm Not Giving Up My New Balance Shoes

Thanks to some idiot fringe of the alt-right, I know find myself in the awkward position of saying, "I'm not a racist, but..."

I'm keeping my New Balance running shoes.

A vice president at New Balance praised Trump's rejection of the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP). Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders came out against TPP as well. Some white supremacist group took one sentence from a New Balance executive about supporting one sentence of Trump's platform, in an interview for the Wall Street Journal where it should be obvious it's a business discussion, and turned it into a symbol of their white-power group.

And without understanding the facts, people started burning their New Balance shoes in protest because they assume New Balance supports white supremacy.

New Balance still makes its shoes in the United States when other major shoe manufacturers have moved their business overseas. I fail to see how, by supporting American workers, I'm now a racist because some other white people, who are racist, have stated they will start wearing New Balance shoes. Either they don't understand the statement was made about trade policy or they don't care. They wanted to say something ridiculous so they could watch liberals overreact and laugh at us. So they could distract us from actual issues of civil rights and equality.

New Balance as denounced this hate group more vigorously than President-elect Trump has, by the way.

New Balance executives supported one part of Trump's economic plan, which many people believe makes sense for American workers. Whether I agree with the trade policy or not, or whether it's going to actually benefit workers or not, isn't important right now. I can't blame someone for voting for what they think will offer better job opportunities and business opportunities for Americans. And if Trump's plan doesn't work out, I'll be there to listen and to be a good friend to those who are disappointed.

We need to not let some of the worst idiots on the right take over the conversation and lead us away from facts and reason. New Balance shoes are the only ones that fit me properly. I've been running for over half my life, I've put in a lot of miles, and I've tried a lot of shoes. I can honestly say that ethically I have no problem continuing to buy them. Go ahead and protest and boycott, but do your homework first.

Sources:
Forbes: New Balance Gets Political
Washington Post: We live in crazy times: Neo-Nazis have declared New Balance the ‘Official Shoes of White People’
The Post Game: New Balances Support of Trump Win Triggers Sneaker Burnings

Nineteen Miles

Today I ran nineteen miles. (I ran and am writing this on Sunday, but posting it Monday. I'm too tired to think into the future and change the tenses to match when this will be published and read.) It's my longest run to date. It was a lot harder than my seventeen-mile run two weeks ago. When I left early in the morning I was thinking a full marathon will be difficult but I can definitely get it done. By the time I hit mile eighteen I began to question that. I couldn't tell if I was hitting the wall or if I was simply hungry or thirsty. I cursed myself for choosing a route that had an uphill for miles fifteen through seventeen. When I checked my stats later, though, mile fifteen was one of my fastest; I don't know what came over me. I have a twenty-mile run in two weeks. I guess I'll see what happens when I keep ploughing on for one more mile.

The Marine Corps monument (pictured), also known as the Iwo Jima monument, is eleven and a half miles from our house. This is the second long run that I've passed it. It's the finish line for the marathon. It's an inspiration. I like stopping for a moment when I get to it to have my snack and contemplate what others have done and why I'm out doing this.

I've mentioned before that I'm raising money for Soldier On, an organization that provides services for homeless veterans. I need your help, guys. I'm six weeks out from my marathon and I'm going to start annoying everyone to donate. Click here to do so. Thinking about helping this great organization has been helping me through the tough miles. Thank you so much for helping me.

Back-to-School Edition

Ahem.

We moved to the Washington, D.C., area. We are still surrounded by boxes but the place looks a little more put together every day as each box goes out. Mike started his job. Muffin has started school. I've started two volunteer jobs and a part-time job.

I'm still marathon training, slowly but surely. I have to run nineteen miles this weekend, my longest run ever. I ran seventeen miles two weeks ago and I have no reason to believe I can't complete a marathon in, what, seven weeks? Six weeks? I'm measuring my time by days between long runs right now. Nineteen miles, ten miles, twenty miles, ten miles, etc., for the next few weekends. It looks like the heat has broken, so that's something. There were many miserable miles run this summer by me and others and I'm ready for some cooler weather. You can still contribute to my fundraising for Soldier On, if you'd like. Click here.

Muffin has been in public school in Virginia for all of two weeks and we are dealing with a kind of culture shock. I feel like we have to be on top of everything to keep politics, gender stereotypes, and helicopter parenting at bay. I feel like we are definitely the weird parents with the weird kid because I don't care that Muffin pokes around in the dirt at the bus stop (other parents don't let their kids play before school) but I'm concerned about political parties handing out leaflets on school grounds. (I posted about my encounter with that on Facebook -- in the near future I'll modify it for posting here.)

I've got an idea for NaNoWriMo this year, too. I'm researching and planning right now. More to come on that later, as the event grows closer. It starts two days after my marathon. I'm a sucker for long, slow, arduous tasks, apparently.

And that's about it for now. How are you doing?

Book Review: Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell

After you've read something, please consider leaving a line or two on Goodreads and Amazon. The authors appreciate it!

Here's my review as it appears on Goodreads.

Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is the first Sarah Vowell book I ever read and while I've read all her others, I've come back to this one several times to reread. We move in and out of the Washington, D.C., area every few years and I usually read it when we're heading back there in anticipation of seeing some of my favorite monuments and hearing some of my favorite stories. I of course had to read it again this summer since I'll be starting a job as a tour guide with our next move there this fall. I wanted to refresh my memory of the funny and interesting observations Ms. Vowell shares.

Assassination Vacation gives us a look at the assassinations of three presidents -- Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinley. Students don't learn much about he presidencies of Garfield and McKinley these days but they are definitely worth a look. At the time she was writing, Ms. Vowell makes comparisons to the McKinley and Bush administrations. I'd make similar comparisons to a possible Trump administration this year.

Ms. Vowell makes American history accessible and points out how American history and politics have always been mired in scandal and downright silliness. I love how she goes into the lives of the assassins as well. Everyone knows John Wilkes Booth, but Guiteau and Czolgosz rarely get much mention. Ms. Vowell points out that many people were relieved to hear that Czolgosz had a foreign name because it made them assume a foreigner had shot the president. But Czolgosz was an American citizen, born in the Midwest to immigrant parents. Sound familiar to the fears one of our presidential candidates is helping to fester this year?

I do not want a presidential assassination. But I think it's worth learning about what drove others to do it in the past and take a look at the atmosphere of politics and the entire country surrounding those events. I recommend this book to anyone who has even a passing interest in American history, politics, or current events.

View all my reviews

• And, yes, I'm really going to be a tour guide in Washington! I'll be with City Running Tours. I'm so excited. I'll share more details once I'm down there getting started.

You Don't Really Train for a Marathon Alone

I'm not going to lie. Running has been difficult the last few weeks. It's hot. It's humid. It's downright Bamako out. Friends in the Northeast, friends in Texas, friends in London -- we are all struggling to run right now. I guess that's how the summer is for everyone who's insane enough to train for a marathon through these months. We accept it because we got ourselves into this and we'll get ourselves out.

On Saturday morning I snapped this picture just before starting a thirteen-mile run. I wanted to remember appreciating the beautiful scenery when the miles go tough. Sunrise on the beach. Early morning surfers. Folks out for a stroll with their coffees.

The beautiful scenery barely pulled me through the first mile. My friends did, though. I met up with Running While Mommy and a few others. We were all running different distances but stayed together for a few miles. I would have given up much sooner if it hadn't been for my friends. I wanted to think of my goal. I wanted to think of all the people who have things so much harder than I do but perform amazing tasks every day anyway. I wanted to enjoy the beachfront. But I couldn't. I was too hot and too tired. My mind was a blank. But I had footsteps beside me and as long as I was accompanied by another runner I was going to keep going. Slowly but surely.

Since we all ran different distances we finished at different times. We caught up with each other by group text later in the day. Everyone was happy to have the motivation of meeting other people to get the run done. We were happy to have the run finished for the weekend. We probably all would have either skipped it or run shorter if we'd been on our own. It felt good to check in with my support system like that.

What made me feel great all over again was when the official Marine Corps Marathon account liked my image (to the right) on Instagram yesterday. It's a screenshot of the alarm on my phone going off at five in the morning with a caption of how I'm meeting my friends for the long run on what was the hottest day of the year so far. That little thing, that "like" from the organization that's putting on the marathon boosted my spirits immensely. It made me feel like I'm part of something big and they are recognizing every mile that the runners are putting into their training.

The marathon is less than a hundred days from now. My daily runs aren't as long as I'd like them to be, but I'm getting out there and doing something almost every day. And I'm confident that as long as I complete the long run each week I'll be able to complete the marathon.

Remember to check out my page for making a donation to Soldier On: Click here. Thank you to everyone who's donated so far to help me raise money to support homeless veterans.