22 January 2007

News Break

1) Sometimes The Onion publishes a story that's painfully true.
Area Man Guesses He'll Learn The Difference Between Shiites And Sunnis
PORTLAND, OR—Nearly four years into the war in Iraq, local sales representative Howard Morrison finally conceded that it was probably time to just pick up a newspaper and figure out what distinguishes Sunni Muslims from Shiite Muslims. "At first I really thought this whole thing would work itself out, and there was no need to figure out who was who," said Morrision, adding that it used to be enough to know the difference between Iraq and Iran. "But this is turning out to be pretty complicated and I should at least learn which side are the insurgents. I know one of them's Islamic." Morrison said he would have time for the new subject since giving up trying to learn the difference between trans fats and regular fats last week.


2) Does FOX secretly own every network? They've got all channels covering the big story of how mean American Idol is. But doesn't that actually promote the show? (As if it needs more promotion... Is it true that more people vote for American Idol winners than for president? Are the numbers skewed because of the age groups? And if the American Idol voting system is so reliable, why doesn't it become the system for presidential elections?) Anyway... Does NBC really think they're scaring potential American Idol viewers into watching their programming instead by interviewing people whose feelings were hurt by Simon Cowell? I have a feeling more people will be tuning in to watch the insults fly. (Not me though. I've never been interested in the show and have only watched one complete episode.)

3) Bill Richardson announces his exploratory committee, gets ignored.

4) Does this researcher collect royalties from New Order? Today is, scientifically speaking, Blue Monday. But fear not! Manalo to the rescue!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Here's a funny view of what Fox News will be like 500 years in the future (from the Mike Judge movie "Idiocracy")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubzOhftGf18