I'm the Mom Who Doesn't Care for Mother's Day

Over the weekend I had a huge blow-up with Muffin. I still feel terrible about it but I'm going to stand my ground. She wants to throw a big party for me on Mother's Day. I want a quiet day with several hours of alone time. She doesn't think that's special enough. I tried explaining to her that I'm not a huge fan of Mother's Day to begin with and that I'm going to insist on my quiet time. For a little girl who loves party planning, this is a big problem for her. But it's Mother's Day. I'm the mom. I get to choose.

On the radio yesterday morning the DJs were discussing a poll that said seventy percent of mothers just want to be left alone for several hours on Mother's Day. So if you know a mother who says that's really all she wants, please let her have it. Going to Mother's Day brunch in a crowded restaurant is one of my personal circles of Hell and I suspect that might be true for many women.

Even now that I'm a mom, I don't care for Mother's Day. There's no genetic code that made me love brunch and pastels the moment I gave birth. To me it's another commercial cards-and-flowers day and it holds little interest for me. (If you really like flowers, that's totally fine! I love flowers and I hope my florist friend does good business this weekend because of all the others who love flowers, too. But only get someone flowers if you mean it and they love them, not as an afterthought because it's just what people do.)

I read too many blog posts from moms whose children made them breakfast in bed and left her a messy kitchen to clean up. And the moms shrug and say, "Oh, well. I'm the mom and it's my job to clean up after them, even on Mother's Day."

No. Otherwise what's the point of the day?

If you have a mother, ask her what she really wants for Mother's Day. If you are a mother: Be. Honest. You will be subjected to endless noisy brunches or messy kitchens coupled with good intentions unless you are honest and tell your children and whoever else is helping them plan the day what you really want to do. If you don't want to wash dishes on Mother's Day because you do it every single other day and it's your least favorite chore, take a stand and tell someone. Otherwise, accept the fact that it will be like every other day and don't get miffed. Commercials build up expectations that can never be met. I like to keep the bar low.

My ideal Mother's Day would be Mike and Muffin going off for a nice adventure on their own for a few hours and bringing home amazing cupcakes for us to share. However, that's pretty much my ideal Sunday year round. And with Mike coming home this weekend for good, I should be able to realize that dream for several upcoming Sundays.

Mothers, I hope you get what you want this Sunday, whatever it is. I'm so happy that my family is safe and sound and will be back together again, it's really all I need.

The Problem with Parenting Magazines

When I was pregnant a friend gave me some advice: Never read parenting magazines. “You’ll get put on the mailing list,” she said. “’With our complements,’ the card will tell you. Take the time to throw out the magazines and remove yourself from their mailing list. I promise this is one of the best things you can do as a parent.”

For the most part I followed that advice. I even threw out What to Expect by the time Muffin was three months old because she wasn’t following any of the directions the handbook gave and it stressed me out. Recently, though, I saw this headline, “Am I Supposed to Be My Child’s Playmate?”, from Parenting magazine. The mother of all magazines I try to avoid.

I am no expert in parenting, other than keeping my own child relatively happy and healthy for the last five years, but like most parents, regardless of my feelings on the topic, I’m going to click on a lot of parenting articles. Personally, I think it’s fine to find a balance between playing with children and giving them time and space to play on their own.

The very first paragraph made me uneasy. The author’s mother would make dinner for the family on the one night a week she wasn’t home for dinner because she had a graduate school class. Okay, that’s fine. But her father would throw away the pot roast, hiding it deep in the garbage can, order pizza, and hide the boxes in a neighbor’s garbage so that the mother would never find out. “It was our little secret,” the author says.

That is a terrible secret. Her parents were so held down by traditional parenting roles that her mother could not say to her father, “You are responsible for dinner this one night a week.” Nor could the father say, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of dinner this one night a week.” She felt the need to make a dinner that her family would throw away. (Why throw it away? Why not carve it up for sandwiches or save it for another night?) I would be pissed if I found out my spouse and child were doing this after the trouble I went through to make the meal.

I realized as I read that this article taps into the insecurity many mothers feel about being Mean Mommy versus Fun Dad. I haunt parenting groups to see what other parents are up to and I see the Mean Mommy issues brought up by women all the time. Mothers are meant to nurture and be caregivers for their families. Fathers are meant to be playmates.

I call shenanigans.

Both parents are parents. Fathers are not playmates or baby-sitters. (More men are professional chefs but more women are still expected to cook for their families? Don’t even get me started on that… Maybe a future blog post.) Both parents can play to their strengths, of course, but at some time they are going to have to step up to both roles.

That is, if both parents are present and if they are a heterosexual couple.

There’s no reason why, if both parents are present, then they can’t share the nurturing and the playmate parts. Single parents have to do both. Same-sex parents take on both roles. There’s absolutely no need for it to be gender divided, or divided at all. So many parenting articles reinforce these gender roles without taking into account that families are not as nuclear as they were a generation or two ago, nor with taking into account the different personalities and strengths that different parents have. They continue to reinforce the image of the ideal superwoman who can keep a perfect household and hold down a career or further her education while dad occasionally baby-sits.

Families aren’t like that anymore and many media outlets continue to subversively keep that out-dated model alive.

And that's why I don't read parenting magazines. Really, I don't.

Coconut Water and Anti-Dreadmill

Muffin enjoys fresh coconut water after a hard workout.

I’ve heard that coconut water is all the rage for runners in the United States. It’s popular on the streets of India because it’s cheap and refreshing, what with all the electrolytes to help prevent dehydration. I buy small bottles of it at the grocery store (convenient to throw in my gym bag) and go to the roadside wallas with a 24-ounce CamelBak bottle to have them fill it up. It takes about three coconuts to fill the bottle and prices have gone up recently to 20 rupees per coconut so it now costs about 60 rupees, which is $1.10, or less than 5 cents per ounce. I checked on Amazon.com and coconut water prices were 13 to 14 cents per ounce. I checked Peapod.com for the Washington, D.C., area and the prices ranged from 15 to 20 cents per ounce. Yikes! How can I afford this habit once I'm back? I guess I should take advantage of it while I can. Fortunately, Muffin will only drink coconut water when it actually comes from a coconut with a straw stuck in it, more because she likes the novelty than she likes coconut water. She always asks for a sip from my bottle, but then says she doesn't like it.

I hate the term "dreadmill" even though I dislike running on a treadmill. It's so negative I feel like I've sabotaged the workout with a negative attitude before even starting. It's necessary sometimes but I'm cutting back on treadmill runs because I'm not having fun. After a rough few weeks, my alarm is set for 5 a.m. tomorrow morning. I would have done it for today but I spent Sunday night at a friend's birthday party and I wanted to enjoy myself, not set myself up for failure the next morning (not necessarily by drinking a lot and eating too much, but by staying up later than I normally would on a Sunday night). I don't really like using the treadmill in the afternoon so my only other option is to wake up early to run on the road before the heat of the day sets in. If I'm going to the gym anyway for my yoga class, then I'll run on the treadmill but using it otherwise has become tedious. And I'd rather use Muffin's nap time for eating and napping myself instead of running during that time, squeezing in time for a good meal later, and being so exhausted that I fall asleep before she does in the evening.

Image from Pinterest.

I need to get back on track and work on my base mileage for half-marathon training.

No Smelly Lake 5K on Sunday

We didn't make it to the second 5K on Sunday. I'm sick -- again. My root canal is still not finished. I have the permanent filling but no crown. A friend of Mike's was visiting this weekend and on Saturday afternoon when I realized I wasn't in the mood for being congested, having an achy jaw, and running around the smelly lake at 8 o'clock in the morning, I released Mike of his obligation to race, too, so he and his friend could stay up late on Saturday night. We all went out for a nice breakfast on Sunday morning and met up with some of the racers (who shared their specially ordered Shamrock Shakes with us! Thanks guys!).

Our housekeeper has a twisted nerve from her fall on Friday. She's on bed rest for several more days and is wearing a support belt. She sent a friend over to our house today to do a little cleaning in her absence. I really appreciate having someone here to wash dishes and fold laundry. Our house in the U.S. must have an automatic dishwashing machine. It is non-negotiable. Doing dishes is the worst. I'm without a baby-sitter for a few days, though, so no yoga classes and no treadmill. I've got the jogging stroller and I've got my Jillian  Michaels DVD. I'm also expecting some yoga DVDs in the mail any day now (birthday present to myself) so I am not entirely without a workout strategy. And there's always Just Dance on the Wii, which Muffin loves.

From AnotherMotherRunner.

My new shirt arrived on Friday (above). It made me feel like taking charge of my life. Until I got so sick I could barely stand. I'll have to take charge in a few days.

Motivation Monday: H'bad Grethon 5K Recap

Image from Pinterest.

We ran around the lake yesterday for the Hyderabad Grethon 5K, so boy, did we earn our showers. The lake is so smelly that even after you shower and throw your clothes in the laundry, something still lingers with you all day, like the BO episode of Seinfeld.

I had no clue what to expect from this race and we (Mike and me, with Muffin in the jogging stroller) were telling ourselves that it would be fun because it would be someplace to run other than the treadmill or the park we always go to. We were right about that part, and had to admit afterwards that it was nice to run somewhere different. "In the now," though, as the morning was going on, we lost sight of the fun a couple times.

There was no formal registration like you would normally expect for races. I bought two tickets online and they never asked for any personal information for registrants. The event started at 7:00 a.m. but there was no indication if that was when the race actually started or not. To be safe, we arrived around 6:45. And the race didn't start until about 8:15. "Registration" consisted of showing printouts of online receipts to get tickets and then turning in those tickets to get t-shirts, water bottles, and hats.

The t-shirts were plain white. And so oddly sized that I have no idea who could actually wear them.

There was a bunch of thanking of sponsors and "Hip-hip, hooray!" about things. Every few minutes they mentioned another cause that the race was supporting -- polio-free India, illiterate orphans, English dictionaries for students, and my favorite, being "green," all while people were throwing chai cups and sticker backings on the ground. We finally moved into the street and there was more thanking of sponsors and cheering -- in the middle of a road that had not been closed to traffic, so cars were honking and trying to edge by.

The race finally started. Fortunately it wasn't too hot and sunny yet, although the fog was starting to burn off. (So if they'd started an hour earlier the weather would have been just about perfect!) Most people started off way too fast and it didn't take long for us to find plenty of running space and then start picking people off. Cars kept stopping to look at Muffin in the jogging stroller to the point where there was nearly a pile-up. Lots of people needed to take her photo but once we started running we didn't stop for the paparazzi.

We ran along and I glanced at my Garmin every few minutes. Eventually we reached 1.5 miles, but there was no turnaround in sight. We turned around at two miles. The question became, is the finish going to be exactly where we started or are they pushing it up? Are we running one more mile or two? We decided to gamble on two. And we were right. A 5-kilometer, 3.1-mile race was 3.98 miles in length according to my Garmin. Even if my Garmin is off by a little bit, our finish time indicates that the race was longer than a 5K.

When we crossed the finish line I mentioned that to some of the people who seemed like they were part of the organizing group but they didn't seem very concerned. They were more excited by us being the only white participants and having a baby with us, too. I may have even been the first female finisher. I don't know, I didn't stick around to find out. They wanted us to stay for the final presentation, but we couldn't. Muffin was tired and Mike and I were, too. We didn't want to be part of the show anymore.

There's another race in the same location by the same organizers next week. We're torn on if we should go or not. It might be more fun now that we know what we're getting into, but it was an exhausting morning, dealing with Muffin and the crowd.

And we still smell like the lake.

Cranky Mommy

My day started with Muffin breaking our last working coffee maker, my beloved French press that saw us through eighteen months in San Francisco, two years in Burundi, and two years in India. It was partly my fault for not watching her more carefully, but I warn her every morning not to pick it up because it will break if she drops it. Luckily only a few pieces of glass chipped off so it was easy to clean up, but a giant crack through it prevents us from ever using it again. I can buy a new one here, but it left me in a lurch over what to do for coffee this morning as the water was boiling. Mike to the rescue! He scooped some ground coffee into the pot of boiling water and then sieved the coffee into our mugs. Without caffeine I was unable to come up with that solution on my own.

Muffin did not have school on Monday and Tuesday so the extended weekend made getting ready for school today a slow process. I was finally hustling her out the door when I nearly stepped on a dead gecko in my bare feet. (Hadn't made it to our flip-flops sitting by the door yet.) Not only did I not step on it but I managed not to yelp out and draw Muffin's attention to it. I did not have time for an explanation of why a gecko was sleeping, legless, in front of the door.

We made it to school in plenty of time for Muffin to play before heading inside. Relieved, I immersed myself in checking email on my phone for the drive across town. I planned on meeting some mom friends for our weekly coffee; however, our driver pointed out a terrible crunching sound that the brakes started making. We were close to our house so carefully made our way there. But I couldn't use the car for going back to pick up Muffin. I made a few phone calls to friends and resigned myself to taking an auto-rickshaw (not a great choice looking at the dark rain clouds forming in the direction of Muffin's school) when one of my friends came through and said I could use his car. The most important part of the day, picking up Muffin from school, was taken care of. Nothing else mattered anymore.

I'll have to shop for a new coffee maker another day, using Mike's method for the next couple mornings. Starting on October 1 I'd planned a rigorous schedule of homework and Halloween preparations during my free time. Thanks to the bandh on Monday, the holiday yesterday, and car trouble today, so far I have not done a minute of either of those things.

I'm thinking of taking a nap this afternoon. I can be Super Mommy tomorrow.

Muffin's View of Pattaya, Thailand

I mentioned in my previous post that Muffin and I were on a girls-only vacation last week in Pattaya, Thailand. As a single mom for the week chasing after her, I didn't have time for lots of gorgeous scenery photos. I had to get quick snapshots of Muffin being cute to post to Mike's Facebook page.

Road through the resort. No cars allowed!

Beach across from the resort.

I highly recommend Rabbit for a family vacation.

Road between resort and beach; during the day no cars are allowed.

Shrine at the resort.

And to the tiger at the zoo, Muffin just said, "Pooh, pooh."

Last day at the beach.

Kapa maki at the Bangkok airport.

We stayed at the Rabbit Resort, which I recommend for families visiting Pattaya. The owners go by Mr. and Mrs. Rabbit and they were very accommodating. No cars are allowed on the resort compound, and the road along the resort is closed to car traffic during the day so it's safe for kids to run around. There's an adults' pool and a kids' pool, and the kids' pool was perfect for Muffin to test out her swimming skills. The ocean is just across the no-traffic road, and the beach and water were pretty good for letting kids run around. A little debris after a storm blew through, but nothing worse than you'd find at a lot of U.S. beaches. On the best days at low tide the water was very shallow for quite a ways out and safe enough for little legs like Muffin's to wade without fear of undertow or giant crashing waves. There is no spa at the resort but they will arrange for a car to take you to a nearby spa and will arrange for a baby-sitter. (And Mrs. Rabbit herself checked in on the sitter while I was gone.) Pattaya is about a 90-minute drive from Bangkok airport. You can arrange a car with the resort or you can book an airport limo upon landing.

There is a water park within walking distance of the resort, although Muffin and her friend were a little too young for it. Muffin was more impressed that there was a 7-11 within walking distance. Every morning she asked if we could there for a chocolate milk. A good zoo is about a 45-minute drive. We had perfect timing on zoo day, with overcast weather while we walked around; the rain waited until we were back in the car on the way back to Rabbit. There is not much in the way of playgrounds or other kid-friendly areas in Pattaya. There are good restaurants and coffee shops within walking distance; outlet shopping is a short tuk-tuk ride away. The resort restaurant is pretty good and we ate most of our meals there.

We were there during the last weeks of the rainy season, which is the least expensive time to be there. If you are a sun bunny, this is not the best time of year to go. But if you want weather that is warm enough for splashing around in the pool or ocean without too much time in the sun, and afternoon rain storms that are conducive to napping, then it is the perfect time to go.

Thailand has Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts, so if you live in a country that doesn't have those do you really need any other reason to visit?

Motivation Monday -- Role Model

"One of the most important things we do for our children is to present them with a version of adult life that is appealing and worth striving for."

Instead of a picture, this week my inspiration comes from a quote at the end of an opinion piece in the New York Times. Since Muffin came along part of why I run is to be a good role model for her. And I've realized that being a healthy, active role model is one thing, but running has become part of a larger role model plan. With Mike's career, we're not always going to be living in places where women are equal to men. It's up to me to show Muffin how to be a strong woman while navigating through those difficult areas, also while trying to figure it out myself. It's safe for me to run in certain parks at certain times of day wearing certain clothes. That's better than not being able to run at all, right? I'm showing Muffin that we have choices, even when society seems oppressive.

I'm running a half marathon on Sunday. I'm running a half marathon on Sunday. I'm running a half marathon on Sunday. I must have a healthy eating week. I must finish all my homework before the weekend so I don't have to worry about staying up late Saturday night or awake Sunday night to finish it. I have some friends running the race, I have some friends running aide stations, and I've got a few places along the route in mind for Mike and Muffin to stand, so I'll have encouragement as I go. I'm going to run slow and steady. I know I can do the distance. If I run slow enough then I'll have a time to beat in the second half marathon next month. I must stop thinking so much and just do it.

It's not a pin, but it's a "run happy" moment that I must keep in mind.

Super Mommy

I'm pretty proud of myself this week. I prioritized my time, I delegated tasks, and I made this:

and I finished making this:

all for Muffin's birthday party on Saturday afternoon.

How to Make a Very Hungry Caterpillar Party in India
I have to thank Pinterest for the cake idea. I pinned it months ago and kept the idea tucked away in my head, thinking about how to make this in India.

First, when the Consulate placed an order with the commissary in Delhi, I ordered "one" food coloring box. Due to the confusing nature of the order form, I ended up with "one case" of food coloring boxes. I also bought one case of real vanilla extract (intentionally -- I use it a lot for baking) because you can't buy real vanilla in Hyderabad and the fake stuff sold here tastes awful.

Next, when we where on vacation in the United States in May, I tried the King Arthur flour gluten-free cake mix and I liked it a lot better than the Betty Crocker gluten-free cake mixes I'd been using. I bought several boxes of chocolate and yellow -- which actually comes out more like angel food cake -- and did a couple test batches once we were back in Hyderabad to see how the cupcakes would work in my oven. I also tested frosting recipes. I'd been using the Pamela's frosting mixes, and while I love the chocolate, the vanilla always tasted funny to me. I ended up using a butter frosting recipe from a Better Homes and Gardens cookbook.

I used Heritage unsalted cooking butter for the cake and the frostings. I've found it in HyperCity and at the Heritage markets. It freezes well, so I buy several boxes whenever I see it.

I did a little bit of work each day. On Tuesday I made a batch of green frosting. On Wednesday I made a batch of red and kept both in the freezer. On Thursday I took a break. On Friday, with our housekeeper helping to keep Muffin entertained, I made one box of chocolate cupcakes (one box yields 24 cupcakes), one box of yellow cupcakes, and another box of chocolate into 12 cupcakes and one nine-inch round cake. I also made another batch of frosting, dividing it into half blue and half yellow. I moved all the frostings into the refrigerator to defrost for Saturday morning. I sealed up all the cupcakes into Tupperware, blasted the air conditioner and kept my fingers crossed for the electricity, and left them on the kitchen counter overnight because there wasn't enough room in the refrigerator for them.

On Saturday morning, while Mike kept Muffin busy, I started frosting everything. I locked up the cat. I kept air conditioners blasting in the kitchen and the dining room. I ate a good breakfast and a good lunch and didn't drink too much coffee so I wouldn't have shaky hands and drop anything. I cut out little feet and antenna from black felt. I placed the cupcakes on a piece of white fabric (an old tablecloth that had a couple stains in it so can't be used for fancy dining anymore, but works well as a cupcake canvas) and the felt stuck to the fabric nicely. I kept the caterpillar's head in the refrigerator until the very last minute to keep his face from melting.

Several weeks ago I'd ordered official Hungry Caterpillar party supplies from the Eric Carle museum and some cheaper plain green supplies from Oriental Trading. I also found some party stuff at HyperCity and the party store next to Qmart.

Mike and I spent Friday night sealing up the goodie bags and I also finished Muffin's dress that night. Each day for the last two weeks I'd been working on the dress in about five-minute increments whenever I could. It's the Oliver + S Seashore Sundress in Michael Miller Lolli Dot from Fabric.com and red "matching fabric" from a sari shop.

All the work culminated in two hours of insanity. Nineteen kids and sixty cupcakes. We bought samosas from a kiosk around the corner for a savory snack and we had plenty of juice, water, soda, and beer for guests of all ages. We just let the kids go crazy with Muffin's toys until cupcake time, then they went crazy with cupcakes. Everyone seemed to have a good time. Muffin was a little subdued but she loved her birthday cake and she didn't cry when everyone sang "Happy Birthday." That's about all you can ask from a two-year-old.

And we had our housekeeper come in for the afternoon to help with cleaning up. That is a key element to throwing a party in India.

It was a pretty good party, but I'm glad birthdays are only once a year. I can't be Super Mommy every week.

Motivation Monday -- Clearing My Head

My Pin of the week -- Olympic Fever!!

As I was trudging through the mud in the park yesterday morning I realized I need to re-evaluate a few things in my eating and fitness plan. I don't feel good, on a variety of different levels. I'm tired of the muddy paths and slippery roads. The rainy season won't be ending any time soon, though, so I need to start spending an afternoon or two on a treadmill. I feel like I never have any energy, so out with the cupcakes and alcohol (or, at least in much reduced quantities) and in with finding a juicer attachment for my blender and trying some green smoothies.

I was out attempting my long run on Sunday instead Saturday when I usually do them. At around four o'clock Friday afternoon the rain started and it was still going strong when my alarm went off on Saturday morning. I knew the roads would be a mess and the park would be even worse so I called a rain delay. The rain was still coming down at noon, so I started to worry about a rain delay on Sunday, too, thinking ahead to half a long run Monday morning outside and half on the treadmill Monday afternoon. But it finally stopped raining in the afternoon and stayed away for several hours so I continued with my plan for Sunday.

Muffin woke up screaming at 4:45 Sunday morning and Mike went to check on her. I dozed off for a few more minutes. When my alarm went off at five o'clock I was awakened out of a dream where I was trying to do something -- I don't know what -- with very little visibility. I woke up feeling very claustrophobic and unsure of myself. As I hit the street, in the dark with lots of cloud cover, the same feeling from my dream came back to me. I was freaked out. The rain had flooded the vacant lots so the new ponds were full of noisy frogs. Normally I like frog sounds, but they were adding to the creepiness of the morning. The roads were dry Sunday morning but it started to rain by the time I passed the first mile so I decided on just one trudge through the muddy park rather than the two laps I'd planned, cutting my distance in half.

Muffin woke up screaming at 4:45 again this morning and it was my turn to get her. It's just after noon now and I'm wrecked. It's hard to eat healthy when you're so tired. But while Muffin was at school this morning I sat in a coffee shop -- one that does not have wi-fi to distract me -- and did the bulk of the reading for my coursework this week. I also drank plain black tea instead of one of the sugary cold coffees I normally drink there. And I wrote out a grocery list after having looked at some green smoothie recipes yesterday. I'm going to try them with palak, the local spinach, and I think lots of mango or apple juice to make them sweet enough to go down. I'm taking advantage of the housekeeper this afternoon, having her do Muffin's lunchtime and nap so that I can catch a little snooze myself.

One running bright spot from the weekend: Mike got a pair of Vibram Five Fingers and Muffin calls them "Daddy's gecko feet." I also have the Olympics to look forward to. I've read that two sports channels on Tata Sky, our satellite service, will be showing India-centric events. I hope that means some track and field.

Motivation Monday

My Pinterest guilty inspiration for the week.

I’ve been slacking in my training. I have a ton of excuses… Mike was out of town, our housekeeper/baby-sitter needed time off, Muffin’s school was closed, I just didn’t feel like getting up early some mornings. I even skipped a long run a couple weeks ago. I have a mental block about going over ten miles. Part of it is mom guilt. My long runs are taking longer and Muffin is waking up immediately after I leave in the mornings. Saturday mornings are long and exhausting for everyone. Part of it is boredom with my running routes, but I have few choices. I’m trying to enjoy just being outside, but that doesn’t do it for me every day.

On Friday I was not running, not doing homework, and not eating properly to fuel for a Saturday long run. I was reading stupid inspirational quotes on Pinterest. But those stupid quotes got me up and out of the house Saturday morning because I felt guilty about wasting all that time and then not doing anything about it. Well, I did something. Whatever gets me out the door, right?

Instead of throwing in the towel on running, I think I’m going to sign up for a second half marathon, extending my training into September. Racing opportunities don’t come to Hyderabad often so I want to take advantage of as many races as possible to keep me motivated. As long as I don’t plan on breaking any records – which I don’t for the rest of my time here – I can plod along for thirteen miles twice, four weeks apart.

I’ve started up my online master’s classes again but I’m still finding some time for fun reading. I’m reading a lot of running and nutrition books, but I do love hiking adventures as well. I haven’t yet done my annual reading of Bill Bryson’s A Walk in the Woods but last month I read both Up: A Mother and Daughter’s Peakbagging Adventure and Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail. I’d love to do some hiking adventure like that some day. But for the time being, I’m planning on Muffin and me and 25 Walks in Rhode Island. My parents had the book when I was growing up; I ordered a used copy from Amazon for about five dollars so I can start thumbing through it for ideas.

Which brings me to my next piece of news. Next year, we will be taking a short hiatus from overseas life and spending a year in Rhode Island. I think Muffin and I can handle twenty-five walks during that time. She loves the outdoors and I’m looking forward to sharing my childhood stomping grounds with her. I’m also looking forward to walks on the beach, road races, kayaking, and all the comforts of home. I really wanted to stay overseas longer before heading back to the United States, but Rhode Island for a year won’t be so bad.

While I'm out running the city here and feeling down, I'm trying to focus on my twenty-five walks with Muffin next year.

This Week

This week I had the Comment of the Week at Salty Running.

Also this week we won a major award. As a joke I entered this photo of Muffin and Mike in a local magazine's Father's Day photo contest:

Our disgusting little Muffin won us dinner at one of the Taj hotel restaurants!

And we both forgot that yesterday was our anniversary, so that dinner will be a nice date night next week.

Motivation Monday

I should have gone running this morning. When the alarm went off, after a night of tossing and turning because the air conditioner is not working, I decided I was already hot and sweaty and didn't want to be even hotter and sweatier so I stayed in bed.

But when I got up an hour later with Muffin I discovered it was refreshingly cool outside. Rats. Now I have to decide if I'm going to hit the treadmill later or try again tomorrow morning. That decision will be a little easier to make if they fix the air conditioner today.

I'm not one for inspirational quotes (if you're spending all your time reading inspirational quotes, you're not actually out doing what you're supposedly inspired to do) but when I saw this photo and quote on Pinterest over the weekend it reminded me of something I might have cut out of a magazine and hung in my locker in high school.

I didn't run, but I did get some work done this morning. And my motivation for that is a dirty little expat secret. Mike and I hate washing dishes so we are more than happy to pay a housekeeper to do that chore for us. On Monday mornings the kitchen is a mess from the weekend. As much as I like our housekeeper, I hate being home when she arrives on Mondays to see the state of the kitchen. So I pack up my laptop and my Kindle or a book and sit in a coffee shop all morning while Muffin is in school. By the time we come home for lunch, I have a clean house and I've gotten some work done.

And boy did our housekeeper have some cleaning to do -- lots of laundry today. Muffin's school wants us to start toilet training and we had two accidents in the span of an hour before leaving the house. I'm pretty thrilled that Muffin and I both left the house with a bit of breakfast, having brushed our teeth, and wearing clean clothes. What a victory for parenthood.

Jet Lag Is Like Vacation Hangover

We arrived in Hyderabad early Tuesday morning after more hours of travel than I care to calculate. It was actually our easiest trip yet. We arrived at the airport in Providence, checked in with our extra baggage without hassle, received our boarding passes for all three flights, noted that all of our seats were together on all three flights, and got on the plane. For the longest flight, thirteen hours from Dulles to Dubai, Muffin slept nearly ten hours. Mike and I felt better than we expected to by the time we boarded the last flight to Hyderabad. And when we got home at five o'clock in the morning, all three of us fell asleep in our own beds. The easiness ended there.

Muffin has not been adjusting well to the time difference and the jet lag. With night and day being flipped, she's drowsy all day and night without actually wanting to sleep much. Mine and Mike's older, more experienced brains can rationalize jet lag but Muffin is confused. She's trying her best. I also think a stomach problem plagued her yesterday, which added to her discomfort. It seems to be plaguing me today.

Today I feel hungover. At one point during the night I woke up to relieve Mike of sleepless Muffin duty and I felt drunk. The headache I've had since we landed has finally disappeared, but I still felt fuzzy upon waking up this morning and all I want is coffee, water, and toast. (My gluten-free bagels survived the trip in my suitcase, so I have a few more days of toasty yumminess.)

Muffin starts school next week. I feel like we're in suspension for the next few days. We're not quite on vacation but we're not quite on a normal schedule, either.

On Vacation

Thirty hours of travel is never easy, even without a toddler, but Muffin did the best she could. It was as easy as it could be, under the circumstances.

Falling asleep for the last hour of a nine-hour flight.

We are enjoying the beach and trying to relax in between all the wedding activities of the week.

I can wear shorts outside my house!

Tonight Muffin makes her flower girl debut.

The dress fits! 

More to come, after the wedding craziness is over and we begin the real relaxing.

Serenity Now!

We've had quite a few "Serenity now!" moments over the last few days but with our summer holiday quickly approaching I think we will survive a few more days of India and toddler care.

Muffin has been waking up ridiculously early and taking short naps. Even though I leave her with our housekeeper for a little while every day so I can get coffee, have a quiet lunch, or do a little shopping, the lack of sleeping is taking its toll on the whole family. She actually slapped me yesterday and Mike this morning and had her first taste of punishment as a result. (Sitting on a chair by herself for a minute. She was miserable.) Muffin also witnessed the cat throwing up for the first time. She yelled out the cat's name and then burst into tears. I almost cried myself, seeing how upset she was over it.

Mike finally got his motorcycle from the mechanic yesterday. After several months it was finally ready enough to drive home. Mike got a call in the afternoon saying it was "Ready," but he later found out it was what he referred to as "Hydera-ready." He went to the shop after work and the bike was not in riding condition yet so he waited for several hours and watched the mechanic do the work. After having missed several bedtimes with Muffin recently, when she woke up early this morning Mike took her outside to see the new bike.

Muffin approves.

I had a great run yesterday morning. I found a three-mile route that I can do from my house. It's hilly but if I go slow it's easy enough and if I go fast it's a hard run. There's a convenient place to add a little extra mileage, too, for when my three-mile easy runs become four-mile easy runs. By the time we return from our vacation the weather should be slightly more bearable, temperature-wise, so it should be a little easier to get up and get out in the mornings. In the mean time, I will be packing running shorts rather than running leggings for our upcoming vacation. Ah, the freedom of running in the West!

Seen on my run yesterday. Remnants of a May Day celebration.

This Week

This week I posted at What I Eat and I forgot to mention that last week I posted about Muffin's Easter frock at We Sew Retro.

Coloring eggs!

ChiRunning: Running Like Donnie Darko

This is the last morning I'll have free for myself for a few days, but I didn't go running. After running on Sunday and Monday (including Muffin in the jogging stroller on Monday) I decided to rest. I feel like I should have at least done some reading about running, but instead, while I drank my coffee as everyone else slept, I caught up on the overnight Facebook goings-on. Being so many time zones ahead of the United States means that I have a lot of friend activity to read each morning.

I'm reading ChiRunning and I think I can get behind most of the philosophy and the physical changes it requires in running. If it's going to help my knees I'm willing to give it a try. Here's what I visualized, though, every time I start reading: You know that scene in Donnie Darko that shows the energy tube coming out of people's chests, and that's what people follow, that's what pulls them through their actions? That's what ChiRunning is to me. I'm looking for my Donnie Darko tube.

I've been concentrating on my posture and trying to align my feet. I have a problem, though, in that one of my legs turns in. I turn out one of my feet in order to prevent my knees from knocking together. Aligning my feet brings my knee in. I used to to strength training to correct it and I really don't want to relive those strength-training days. I must turn to the internet to find out if focusing on my posture and alignment will eventually self-correct my knee or if I really do have to strength train. If I have to lift any weights, then I feel gypped by ChiRunning.

Monday was a mother running day combined with a running in India day. Getting Muffin dressed, getting myself dressed, getting Muffin to eat some breakfast, eating a bit myself, brushing Muffin's teeth (and mine, of course), saying "Good-bye" to Daddy as he leaves for work, packing up two water bottles, two pairs of shoes, iPod for the car ride, snacks, hair clips and hair elastics, Garmin, my phone, the stroller... Doing all that on its own isn't so bad, but we were doing it to a ticking clock because the park closes at nine o'clock in the morning so you have to get there early enough to run a decent amount before then.

I have childcare set up for my date with a treadmill tomorrow. And if I'm lucky the air conditioner in the gym will be working; it wasn't last week. Yay India!

Running Rerun

I've been here before.

I signed up for a 10K race in May so I'm in running mode right now. It's a bad time of year to be training outside; if I don't finish my run by 8 o'clock in the morning it's too hot and sunny. Clouds have moved in over the last few afternoons, with thunderstorms far off in some other parts of the city; I'm considering trips to the park during that cloudy time even though my driver advises against it. (It's just a little wind and distant thunder in our neighborhood; it hasn't even rained.) Every once in a while I can use the treadmill at Mike's office, but it's a long drive. I spend more time on the road going back and forth than I do on the treadmill.

I read all the books, articles, and blog posts about moms who run, searching for motivation and for the key to success. A friend and I have surmised that the key is to wake up at a ridiculously early hour to get your run in. (And then hope that caffeine and a quick cat nap if the baby takes a nap will pull you through the rest of the day.) After learning that secret, I still spend more time reading about running in the comfort of my air-conditioned home after Muffin goes to sleep at night than I do waking up at 5:30 in the morning and hitting the pavement. I'm waking up at 5:30 but heading straight to Muffin's room and then the coffee pot, since she's been waking up at that early hour recently. I know I should be putting her in the  jogging stroller and taking her with me or not feeling so guilty about leaving her at home with Mike. If I don't get out the door within nanoseconds of waking up, though, my motivation drains away. (I sleep in my running clothes to make it out the door as quickly as possible.) Every second counts in the morning.

To wear shorts or not to wear shorts remains the question of the day, every day. Among my friends, reports of harassment, regardless of what they are wearing, seem to have increased the last few months. I still feel safe going out for a run in our neighborhood and Mike feels it's safe, too. As much as I'd like to yell back or flip someone off, I just look straight ahead and keep running, knowing it's best not to engage with anyone. I never bring my iPod and I always carry my phone. I stay alert and I change routes frequently.

I know that running in the United States presents its own challenges and there are some parts of life that are deterrents to running regardless of where you live. But I can't wait until we're on vacation and I can wear shorts, run in nice weather, and have grandparents around to help with Muffin-care.

P.S. Follow me on dailymile. 

Time Flies, and We Do Our Best to Make It Fun

I don't know where the time has gone. One day I was blogging away and the next I wasn't. And the day after that I still wasn't, and so on, for over a month. We were hit by the seasonal plague and spent weeks coughing and sneezing and trying to keep the humidifier running in the living room during the day and in Muffin's room at night. Muffin started preschool (as an eighteen-month-old kid, not a baby anymore!). We took a last-minute trip to Singapore.

Now we are finally starting to feel healthy and getting the new school-time routine down.

Muffin's first day of school:

She has yet to learn the importance of standing still and posing for the first-day-of-school photo. She'll have another chance soon, though, as summer vacation here is April and May. She'll have another first day of school in June.

Muffin visited the motorcycles again:

There's a temple around the corner from the mechanic's shop and they give sweets to Muffin when she walks in to listen to the music. She's quickly becoming a Hanuman devotee.

And Singapore:

We are now hunkering down in Hyderabad and trying to get used to the heat. Summer appears to be early. Temperatures are already reaching 99 degrees and although schools don't close for the summer until April, many are going down to half-days now because it's too hot in the afternoon. Just when we're feeling healthy enough to go outside the weather is going to drive us back in unless we go out at 6 o'clock in the morning.