Book Review: Ghostland: An American History in Haunted Places by Colin Dickey

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Ghostland: An American History in Haunted Places by Colin Dickey
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I really liked this book in the beginning. I grew up in an old haunted house in New England, yet I'm always a skeptic. (99% of supernatural activity ends up being the wind or a cat — and cats are creepy as hell.) I liked reading the stories behind the stories, whether they debunked the legends or gave credence to them. I’ve always been interested in history and nonfiction and ghost stories are the old “fake news.” Entertaining but you shouldn’t necessarily take them at face value. As the book went on, I found the stories themselves no less interesting but the format became tedious.

A couple of the stories really stood out to me. There are many cases of ghost stories being used to control a narrative that makes people feel safe. We don’t have to feel guilty about marginalizing someone or face realities of our country’s brutal history if there’s a fun story.

Does it count as spoilers to discuss the historical facts around ghost stories? Just in case, here’s your spoiler alert.
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The Winchester Mystery House in San Jose, California is a place I always wanted to visit when I lived in the area. I was more interested in the weird architecture than in the story of the so-called insane woman who had it built. And it turns out I probably had reason to be. According to Dickey, the worst sin Sarah Winchester committed was being slightly eccentric and misunderstood by her community, and thus the rumors of her insanity flourished. “[Her legend] depends on a cultural uneasiness to which we don’t always like to admit. An uneasiness about women living alone, withdrawn from society, for one.” This is a common thread among ghost stories and horror movies and happens in popular fiction and in real life — a woman is different from how society thinks she should be and is persecuted or even punished for it.

About Shockoe Bottom, Richmond, Virginia, Dickey says so succinctly, “The ghosts of Shockoe Bottom are overwhelmingly white.” This is an area of the country where we find “the first settlements,” as long as we are only counting the settlements of the Europeans. This is an area of the Southern United States known for its slave auctions. Atrocities were committed in the area, yet the ghosts are white people from the 1700s and 1800s who haunt touristy bars and restaurants. Erase history much? If you really want to be horrified by scary stories, read accounts of the slave auctions.

From the Salem witch trials to haunted Southern plantations to the Amityville Horror, a common thread in ghost stories is someone powerful trying to marginalize a minority and coverup their guilt over it. I think it’s time for a lot more of the facts and history to be revealed about the stories that have become so common in our country.


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Book Review: The Princess Diarist by Carrie Fisher

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The Princess Diarist by Carrie Fisher
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I was a little disappointed with this book. I'm not quite sure what I expected. But the main realization that Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford had an affair during the filming of Star Wars had been released with the book and there were no other real surprises within. Some readers have said they're disappointed to learn that Ford was so quiet and aloof, but I already figured that about him. He's always been a fairly private figure. Have you ever seen him on a talk show?

Thirty-three-year-old Harrison Ford took advantage of a nineteen-year-old Carrie Fisher. Maybe there's even more to it than Ms. Fisher revealed but from her telling of it I can't see Mr. Ford in a more flattering light over the affair. I know affairs happen. I'm not naive. Ms. Fisher tells us that Mr. Ford isn't a bad guy and that we should take her word for that despite all the evidence she provides that leads me toward not having any sympathy for Mr. Ford in that situation.

I also found the actual reprinting of her journals written when she was nineteen years old to be as tedious as any other nineteen year old's journals, including my own. I'm not sure what they added other than the thrill of voyeurism. I didn't find any deep insight in them.

I didn't hate the book. I found some of the personal details interesting although I found myself skimming through many paragraphs to find one of those interesting details. I'm still a fan of Carrie Fisher and of Princess Leia. I'm just maybe not a fan of Ms. Fisher's writing.

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30 Day Movie Challenge Days 2, 3, and 4

Day 2: The last movie you watched

I used this prompt as an opportunity to watch something new that I've been meaning to watch since it was released several months ago: Hidden Figures.


I'm so glad I took the time to watch it and I can't wait for Muffin to see it. Over the spring break we took a Virginia road trip and learned a few things about civil rights history in Virginia that were really brought home by the film.

Day 3: Your favorite action/adventure movie

Hands down, Raiders of the Lost Ark. And since I'm pretty sure you've all seen it, instead of a clip I'm going to show one of my favorite GIFs.


via GIPHY

Day 4: Your favorite horror movie

I don't watch enough horror movies to really have a favorite. I don't care for them much. But the most recent horror-like movie I've seen that I really liked was The Witch.


I wasn't going to bother watching this film until a friend posted about it on Facebook, saying he needed to turn on the subtitles because the seventeenth-century New England English was too difficult for this California boy to understand. I exclaimed that seventeenth-century New England English was practically my second language and he replied I would probably really enjoy this film, for reasons other than the language. He was right. I appreciate how they incorporated so much of the folklore and the different reasons given for episodes like the witch hysteria in Salem, such as the children faking it for fun, or the mold on the rotten corn. (Rotten lamb stew is also used as a reason for Lizzie Borden's activities a couple hundred years later. So if you live in Massachusetts, make sure your food is always fresh and free of rot or you'll be held responsible for some horrible stuff.) There's also a creepy rabbit and a creepy goat, which makes me feel betrayed because I love rabbits and goats so much.

Book Review: Highland Pursuits by Emmanuelle de Maupassant

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Highland Pursuits by Emmanuelle de Maupassant
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I received an ARC of this after reading Emmanuelle de Maupassant's short story of the same name in the Because Beards anthology, but I would have read this novel anyway because I am a fan of hers. This story did not disappoint.

Ms. de Maupassant creates such a rich world in the Scottish highlands. In real life I've only spent one day in the region but I feel like I spent my entire summer vacation there after living in her world through these pages. I've always loved the humor that Ms. de Maupassant brings to her worlds, as well. Life is funny sometimes, and love and sex are part of life. Ms. de Maupassant brings us to a rich, sensuous place that I look forward to visiting again and again.

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Book Reviews: Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks and an Emmanuelle de Maupassant Short Story

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Here are my reviews as they appear on Goodreads.

Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I was swept up in this book from the moment I started it. I didn’t know that much about it but a trusted source recommended it. I jumped in with both feet and got lost in it. It’s sensual and romantic, then heartbreakingly depressing as the story moves from a love affair in a French town to the battlefields of World War I. The writing pulls you along and you struggle with the hero every step of the way.

Stephen Wraysford is the hero but he’s a bit of an anti-hero. He’s young and passionate. He’s weird and quiet. He loses his passion throughout the war but works hard to do his job, and job that would be difficult for most people to fathom performing unless they were there themselves. The author writes with such emotion and leads you to believe that he really was there on the battlefields and in the trenches. The dramatic tension is amped up by anyone who knows World War I history. The reader who knows which battles are coming up will be struck with a particular horror, knowing the ending before the characters do.

I had a problem with the end of the book that keeps me from giving it five stars. And I really wanted to give it five stars. Not the ending itself; I’m satisfied with how the plot tied itself up. But the last couple of paragraphs. The point-of-view changed to a character that I don’t feel deserved it.

For me, this was a summer read for lazy afternoons in the hot sun, but it’s definitely worth reading anytime. Love, war, and history, it will appeal to many.

Because Beards by Kacey Shea
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I received an ARC of Emmanuelle de Maupassant's story in this anthology. Ms. de Maupassant story, "Highland Pursuits," is delightful. She injects so much personality into her characters and settings and I love her combination of erotica with playful humor. I love reading how much her characters enjoy each others' company. And the story, of course, has some very steamy, satisfying moments.

I fully plan to buy the book and read the entire anthology when it comes out because it features some of my favorite erotica authors.

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Book Review: Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell

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Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is the first Sarah Vowell book I ever read and while I've read all her others, I've come back to this one several times to reread. We move in and out of the Washington, D.C., area every few years and I usually read it when we're heading back there in anticipation of seeing some of my favorite monuments and hearing some of my favorite stories. I of course had to read it again this summer since I'll be starting a job as a tour guide with our next move there this fall. I wanted to refresh my memory of the funny and interesting observations Ms. Vowell shares.

Assassination Vacation gives us a look at the assassinations of three presidents -- Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinley. Students don't learn much about he presidencies of Garfield and McKinley these days but they are definitely worth a look. At the time she was writing, Ms. Vowell makes comparisons to the McKinley and Bush administrations. I'd make similar comparisons to a possible Trump administration this year.

Ms. Vowell makes American history accessible and points out how American history and politics have always been mired in scandal and downright silliness. I love how she goes into the lives of the assassins as well. Everyone knows John Wilkes Booth, but Guiteau and Czolgosz rarely get much mention. Ms. Vowell points out that many people were relieved to hear that Czolgosz had a foreign name because it made them assume a foreigner had shot the president. But Czolgosz was an American citizen, born in the Midwest to immigrant parents. Sound familiar to the fears one of our presidential candidates is helping to fester this year?

I do not want a presidential assassination. But I think it's worth learning about what drove others to do it in the past and take a look at the atmosphere of politics and the entire country surrounding those events. I recommend this book to anyone who has even a passing interest in American history, politics, or current events.

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• And, yes, I'm really going to be a tour guide in Washington! I'll be with City Running Tours. I'm so excited. I'll share more details once I'm down there getting started.

Book Review: What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami

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What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I’ve never read a Murakami novel before so I had no idea what to expect from his running memoir. I’d seen it on the bookshelf of a number of runners so as I started training for my first marathon a few weeks ago, I picked up the book as well.

I loved most of it. I found his philosophy with both running and writing to be similar to mine. There are many things that someone who’s not an endurance athlete can’t understand so maybe this book speaks to a narrow audience. But I’m glad to be a member of that audience. I found myself nodding along. I’d read a free sample on my Kindle, then found a used paperback to buy so I could underline passages and make notes in the margin. I loved this book so much I penciled it up.

Now that I’ve seen this glimpse into his mind I want to try his novels, too.

I would not say this is “equal parts training log, travelogue, and reminiscence,” as the book description does. It includes all those things, but not in equal parts. It’s a series of essays that he wrote, mostly during his training for the 2005 New York City Marathon, but the memories take him to other races and other periods of his life, and on a whirlwind tour of his stomping grounds across Hawaii, Boston, Greece, and Japan.


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Quiet Support

After a chat with Muffin about the very few times it's
appropriate to write in a book, I found this heart penciled
in the margin of my Murakami paperback.

It’s Monday morning. I’ve run. I’ve had my smoothie (greenish). I'm sitting down at my laptop to write.

I’m not here to be your cheerleader and tell you how amazing I feel. I don’t care if you drink smoothies or not. I happen to like them and adding a few leaves of spinach isn’t too bad. The truth is, my motivation is personal and yours is, too.

I started reading Haruki Murakami’s memoir, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, this week. I pretty much want to underline every sentence, there’s so much of it that I relate to. If you really need motivation for this morning, go read this book. (I’ll be writing a more formal review of it once I’m finished.) “Writing novels and running full marathons are very much alike. Basically a writer has a quiet, inner motivation, and doesn’t seek validation in the outwardly visible.”

This is why I keep my daily mileage on Strava, where everyone who’s there is because they are interested in that, rather than Facebook. This is why I don’t post my daily word counts to Twitter and rarely use the #amwriting tag. (If I really am writing, I’m not on Twitter.) I support my followers and those whom I follow in their running and writing endeavors. I know several people training for races and working on writing projects this year and I’ve got your backs. I do pay attention to what you're up to.

I’ve been drinking my smoothie every day for a week but I’ve forgotten to do my plank most days. I've done all the running I've needed to do. I've written some days and some days I haven't. The world has continued to turn despite my not following a plan and not documenting every moment of it for public consumption.

I'm only accountable to myself.

(I stared at this post for hours once I finished writing it without a title idea.)

The Reviews Are In! (And New Availability from Online Book Stores)

• "A superb adventure in Africa"
• "A delightful read"
• "Makes you want to travel to Africa"
• "Mountains Never Meet is a fantastic airport or beach read. It’s light, humorous, and all about the mushy love stuff."
• "Kept my attention from the first page to the last"

I want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed Mountains Never Meet. I may not say this often enough but I am so thrilled that anyone has paid attention to it and when I read your thoughts on my book it motivates me to keep sharing it with others and to keep writing.

If you haven't reviewed it, please consider doing so on Amazon and Goodreads. And not just my book, on any book that you read. From the best-sellers to the indie authors, everyone loves hearing what the readers have to say about their work.

I know that not everyone loves Amazon, so online distribution has been expanded to a couple other sites for the paperback version. If you already have an account at one of these retailers, why not check it out?

• CreateSpace (This is the Amazon direct-print website where I created the paperback edition. It's also where I get the highest percentage of royalty. :)  Just sayin')
• Barnes and Noble
• Abe Books
• IndieBound

I am still working on bricks-and-mortar stores and libraries. I'd love to see it on a shelf someday!

Thanks again for reading!

Book Review: Cautionary Tales by Emmanuelle de Maupassant

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Here's my review as it appears on Goodreads.

Cautionary Tales: Voices from the Edges by Emmanuelle de Maupassant
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

If these stories were a movie, you would find that the old woman telling the tales is either one of the young, buxom protagonist of one of the stories, or one of the spirits that interjects throughout the narrative. And she would likely unwrap her babushka from her head and frighten you with some hideous demon feature. This isn’t a spoiler in any way, simply the image that came into my head as I was reading.

These are fairy tales that will keep you up at night, partly out of fear as you wonder if the spirits are watching your every action, partly due to the erotic voyeurism of watching others make mistakes. The reader follows the spirits as they show us the errors of many human ways. Lust and greed lead people down many paths and some people pay for their actions as a way to teach others not to follow them.

Cautionary Tales is quite different from de Maupassant’s novel, The Gentlemen’s Club, but equally rich in language that draws the reader into a frightening, lustful, and delightful experience.


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Book Review: Alchemy xii -- The Entire Year by Tamsin Flowers

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Alchemy xii - The Entire Year: All 13 Alchemy xii novellas by Tamsin Flowers
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I think the reason I haven’t enjoyed BDSM writing much is because most of what I’ve read of it has been bad.

Then in walked Harry Lomax, the “Prince of Kink.” I was intrigued by the book description and I was hooked from the very first pages. If you are into kink, then he is perfect book boyfriend material.

He’s not perfect, of course. He’s flawed like everyone else. But he’s oh-so-charming, too, and it’s easy to fall under his spell.

One of the joys of this book, and the touch of realism in relationships, is his romantic foil, Olivia Roux. They are drawn to each other. Harry wants to teach Olivia everything he knows about BDSM. Olivia says she wants to learn, but is her heart really in it? No matter how many times Harry says that falling in love is out of the question, and no matter how many times Olivia proves that she just can’t be a sub, you ache for them to figure out a happily-ever-after ending.

Alchemy iix is fantasy and romance. It’s boy-meets-girl-meets-kink. It’s so easy to get swept up into Harry’s and Olivia’s world.

I didn’t hear of the series until about halfway through the year and I decided to wait and read the whole thing at once rather than start up and have to wait each month. I was sick one weekend and stayed on the couch the entire time, glued to the adventures of Harry and Olivia. This is an extremely satisfying modern, kinky, romantic fairytale.

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Book Reviews: A Taste for Mystery, Libidinous Zombie, & Summer Pudding

I've put up a few new reviews this week. Please consider leaving a line or two on Goodreads and Amazon after you read a book. The authors appreciate it!

These are my reviews as they appear on Goodreads.

A Taste for Mystery by K.D. Rose
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

KD Rose does something I could never do, and that’s write a mystery that leaves you wondering who did it and what’s going to happen next. They were fun stories and a perfect read for a cold, rainy afternoon.




Libidinous Zombie: An Erotic Horror Collection by Rose Caraway
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I have to admit, I wasn’t anxious to read this book even though I enjoy the writing of several of the authors. I hate zombies. And it’s not the gore, it’s the unrelenting, suffocating pursuit. Zombies are one of my irrational fears.

I faced my fear and read the book anyway. And I’m glad I did. Only one of the stories is about zombies. Tamsin Flowers’ zombie tale did give me the panicky feeling any story about zombies gives me because she tapped into that suffocating pursuit rather than the gore. But her tale turned out to be one of my favorites in the book.

The entire collection is full of horror and sex, and it’s a lot of fun. I’m a whimp about horror and there are a few stories I started at night and had to put down until daylight – most notably Malin James’s journey into an asylum. I also particularly liked Janine Ashbless’s erotic take on The Sorcerer’s Apprentice and the way Rose Caraway gave me second thoughts about how much I enjoy the Santa Ana winds.

These stories will keep you warm on a cold winter night and will make you pause to think about whether you want to turn the light off or not.


Summer Pudding: Story 1 of Forbidden Fruit by Tamsin Flowers
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This story left me breathless and anxious for berries to be in season next summer. Lisa and Laurent have the perfect amount of tension and sweetness between them, which leads to a delicious, satisfying ending.

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Book Reviews: Fifteen Postcards and The Marshall Plan

These are my reviews as they appeared on Goodreads.

Fifteen Postcards by Kirsten McKenzie
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I enjoyed this book very much. I was riveted to the story, although as it went on I became confused by how all the characters were going to tie together. I kept reading though, anxious to find out.

The attention to detail with the antiques and their historical settings was wonderful. I could smell the mustiness of the antique shop and incense of India. I lost track of the family tree, however, and there was a lot of time spent in the past with characters that ended up not having much to do with the final story. I also felt there were some loose ends, so I hope that means there’s a sequel in the works. I’m curious to see where Sarah’s adventures continue!


The Marshall Plan by Olivia Folmar Ard
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This story is a great examination of that difficult time many of us face when we’re finished with school but not quite working in the careers we just spent so many years studying to work in. Are you an adult yet? Or are you a big kid still?

I wanted to give this one five stars but I couldn’t quite get there. Technically the writing is excellent but I found the characters very frustrating. I couldn’t figure out exactly why Molly kept putting off marrying Gavin when 1) she kept saying she loved him so much and 2) it would have solved a number of practical issues such as roommates and living expenses. But I also didn’t get exactly why she loved him so much. You don’t have to love everything about your partner but she seemed downright mean about his choices of hobbies.

All that aside, I still found The Marshall Plan a compelling read. I wanted to see what would happen with Molly, if she would solve her problems or create new ones.

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Book Review: Am I Going to Starve to Death?

This is my review as it appeared on Goodreads.

Am I Going to Starve to Death?: A Survival Guide for the Foreign Service Spouse by Donna Scaramastra Gorman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

For anyone interested in living overseas at all, this book is valuable even if some of the agency specifics don’t apply. There are questions you have to ask yourself and discuss with your partner and family before making the decision to live and work overseas. Although I don’t agree with every single piece of advice, Ms. Gorman is honest and it’s important to hear what worked and what didn’t work for others if nothing else than to know you’re not alone.

We are ten-year veterans with the Foreign Service, so this book was less how-to for me and more nodding my head with recognition. Mix up with my birth control prescription causing me to go without for several months? Resulted in a wonderful daughter a few years before we’d planned to have kids, plus the fun of being pregnant in Burundi.

My wedding ring accidentally packed into the shipment for the slow boat? When my husband went to training and I decided to spend the summer at the beach with our daughter instead of hot and humid D.C., single dads practically fell out of the sky every time I appeared in public.

Losing a pet overseas? That happened to us, too.

Watching my husband pack a bag before leaving for work in case he had to sleep at the consulate because local authorities wanted to arrest him for doing his job? Living in fear that we’d be PNG’d any day because he continued to do his job, even after they decided not to arrest him?

Worrying about terrorist attacks, malaria, ebola, food riots, etc., have all become so much a part of my daily life that I’m almost completely desensitized to them. When they happen (when, not if, in the countries we live in) we’ll deal with it. Oh, and have you heard of acid bugs?

Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro? Seeing the Taj Mahal? Taking a three-year-old hiking through Bhutan? Having a five-year-old whose French is better than mine? Eating great new foods? Making friends all over the world? Yup, all that great stuff happens, too. (We’ve also wrangled three assignments in a row on or near the equator, so the endless summer is pretty nice, too.)

These are the experiences that happen to all of us and you can either learn to roll with them or not. You’ll be happier if you relax and roll. I eventually learned that I’m going to make a fool of myself somehow every time I go out so I may as well be resigned to it.

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Expat Women Still Confessing

Two years ago, the Expat Women site published its first book and I was among the many women who received a free copy to review. Since this is one of my favorite sites, when they asked people to publicize the book for its second anniversary, I am re-posting my original review (published June 1, 2011). To download a free sample of the book or buy it, visit Expat Women.

I'm a frequent reader of the Expat Women website. When the founders of the site contacted bloggers to read and review their new book, Expat Women: Confessions -- 50 Answers to Your Real-Life Questions About Living Abroad, I was excited and couldn't wait to start reading.

The founder of Expat Women has been compiling letters and answers from the popular Confessions column on the website and has put the most common subjects and frequently returned to topics into one book for easy reference. What I think everyone will take away from this book is that "You are not alone." Moving within your own country, even within your own town, is hard. Moving to a new country is very hard, no matter how prepared, organized, determined, or open-minded you are. It helps to hear others' stories for inspiration.

The book is organized into different topics, such as culture shock, raising children, death and divorce overseas, and moving back to your home country. There are questions from single women, women who are the working partner, and women who are the "trailing spouse." The women featured come from a range of different countries and backgrounds, not just the United States, which emphasizes the fact that we can all relate, because we all have some of the same thoughts from time to time.

I don't consider myself a seasoned expat, but I found myself already knowing the answers to some of the questions. One problem I found with the book is that regardless of the problem, the answers were similar or overlapped. There is a lot of advice geared around getting professional counseling, which seems like a difficult thing to do if one of your issues is a language barrier and there are no counselors or therapists practicing in your native language. There is apparently a huge market for life coaching, especially those who practice expat life coaching, of which I was unaware. Most of the advice is to relax and think through the problems and decisions and to have a positive attitude. Exercise and try to make friends. The same pep talk was repeated several times. I think there's more value in the variety of questions, knowing that whatever problem you have there's one other person out there with the same problem. The answer isn't always as important as knowing someone else already asked the question.

There is a lot of practical advice on what sorts of documents and paperwork we should all have in order, especially for when emergencies arise, such as financial papers, health records, wills, and documents pertaining to legal issues in your host country.

After reading this book my feelings that as a State Department expat I think we have it much easier than other expats were confirmed. As much as we grumble sometimes, we have an automatic network in place if we choose to use it. Much of the advice given in this book is similar to what you'll get from the Family Liaison Office. Our housing is mostly taken care of, we have medical personnel and security officers on-call a lot of the time. We have mail service. We jump in to a new assignment filled with people that have just gone through the same move and we have instant access to those people to show us the ropes of a new city.

I think the book can be a valuable resource for some women. It's easy to get so involved in our own little worlds that we forget there are others out there like us but sometimes it's nice to identify with someone.

You can download a free sample of the book here. The book is available for purchase from Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions.

I received a free promotional copy of this book as a Kindle download for review purposes. The views expressed in this post are my own. I was not compensated in any way for this review. I have not enabled Amazon Affiliate links in this post.

Muffin's View of Pattaya, Thailand

I mentioned in my previous post that Muffin and I were on a girls-only vacation last week in Pattaya, Thailand. As a single mom for the week chasing after her, I didn't have time for lots of gorgeous scenery photos. I had to get quick snapshots of Muffin being cute to post to Mike's Facebook page.

Road through the resort. No cars allowed!

Beach across from the resort.

I highly recommend Rabbit for a family vacation.

Road between resort and beach; during the day no cars are allowed.

Shrine at the resort.

And to the tiger at the zoo, Muffin just said, "Pooh, pooh."

Last day at the beach.

Kapa maki at the Bangkok airport.

We stayed at the Rabbit Resort, which I recommend for families visiting Pattaya. The owners go by Mr. and Mrs. Rabbit and they were very accommodating. No cars are allowed on the resort compound, and the road along the resort is closed to car traffic during the day so it's safe for kids to run around. There's an adults' pool and a kids' pool, and the kids' pool was perfect for Muffin to test out her swimming skills. The ocean is just across the no-traffic road, and the beach and water were pretty good for letting kids run around. A little debris after a storm blew through, but nothing worse than you'd find at a lot of U.S. beaches. On the best days at low tide the water was very shallow for quite a ways out and safe enough for little legs like Muffin's to wade without fear of undertow or giant crashing waves. There is no spa at the resort but they will arrange for a car to take you to a nearby spa and will arrange for a baby-sitter. (And Mrs. Rabbit herself checked in on the sitter while I was gone.) Pattaya is about a 90-minute drive from Bangkok airport. You can arrange a car with the resort or you can book an airport limo upon landing.

There is a water park within walking distance of the resort, although Muffin and her friend were a little too young for it. Muffin was more impressed that there was a 7-11 within walking distance. Every morning she asked if we could there for a chocolate milk. A good zoo is about a 45-minute drive. We had perfect timing on zoo day, with overcast weather while we walked around; the rain waited until we were back in the car on the way back to Rabbit. There is not much in the way of playgrounds or other kid-friendly areas in Pattaya. There are good restaurants and coffee shops within walking distance; outlet shopping is a short tuk-tuk ride away. The resort restaurant is pretty good and we ate most of our meals there.

We were there during the last weeks of the rainy season, which is the least expensive time to be there. If you are a sun bunny, this is not the best time of year to go. But if you want weather that is warm enough for splashing around in the pool or ocean without too much time in the sun, and afternoon rain storms that are conducive to napping, then it is the perfect time to go.

Thailand has Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts, so if you live in a country that doesn't have those do you really need any other reason to visit?

Born to Run Happy

Mike and I both devoured Born to Run while on vacation. We are suspicious of trends, but this barefoot running trend seems to have something going for it. He's switched to New Balance Minimus shoes and I've started running regularly in New Balance 730s, a transition shoe. We owe it to Muffin. She picks up and runs, screaming "Run!" and giggling with every step. We want to love running as much as she does.

In case you're not familiar with Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen, from Amazon.com:

An epic adventure that began with one simple question: Why does my foot hurt? Isolated by Mexico's deadly Copper Canyons, the blissful Tarahumara Indians have honed the ability to run hundreds of miles without rest or injury. In a riveting narrative, award-winning journalist and often-injured runner Christopher McDougall sets out to discover their secrets. In the process, he takes his readers from science labs at Harvard to the sun-baked valleys and freezing peaks across North America, where ever-growing numbers of ultra-runners are pushing their bodies to the limit, and, finally, to a climactic race in the Copper Canyons that pits America’s best ultra-runners against the tribe. McDougall’s incredible story will not only engage your mind but inspire your body when you realize that you, indeed all of us, were born to run.

It's mentioned in both Born to Run and ChiRunning that children are the inspiration for lots of barefoot runners. Children run for fun and they don't care about form. If you watch children carefully, their running form is what most runners consider terrible. But they are laughing the whole time they are running. Born to Run also points out that the best way to find your form for barefoot running is to imagine you are playing barefoot in the grass with a child when she runs toward the street and you have to run after her. Your body naturally snaps into the best running form without even thinking about it. Mike didn't have to imagine that, as one afternoon Muffin made a run for the parking area of the vacation cottages where we were staying. (Thankfully there were no moving cars, so she was scooped up and deposited safely back on the grass within a few seconds.) It really made Mike think about barefoot form -- after Muffin's safety of course -- and later that afternoon we went to a park so he could actually run barefoot.

I like wearing shoes. There's too much broken glass and pee on the sidewalks here, when there even are sidewalks, for me to run barefoot. I think there's definitely something to wearing minimal shoes rather than thick-heeled running shoes though. My calves have loosened up yet strengthened. I'm still having some toe problems, but Mike says he had the same problem and just like the calves, the toes will work themselves out.

And I'm thinking about running happy. I still have my Garmin to track my final time and distance but I rarely look at it while I'm running. I tell my mind to run seven miles and not worry about the time and I just do it. I watch kids play in the park. I admire women in their khurtas and running shoes. I have to admit that I get grouchy when large groups of slow walkers are blocking the path and seem to think I'm the rude one for saying "Excuse me" so I can pass by them. But I'm working on that.


Born to Run is about ultramarathon running and while I doubt I will ever reach that level of running (I'd love to try but it takes up too much time!) there was one incident in the book that inspired me more than anything else. Two people are head-to-head to win something like a 100-mile trail race. One is running with science, timing the pace, the rests, every snack, down to the second. The other runner is just out there having fun. The first runner gets pissed when the second runner passes for the win, with a smile on his face. The first runner is bitter because after all that hard work, he's supposed to be the winner and you're not supposed to be smiling after such a hard race.

After reading that, I decided I want to be the happy runner, not the bitter runner. Making that decision really seems to have taken off the pressure I'd placed on myself to be a "good" runner. What is a good runner, anyway? It's all in my head.

In related news, I downloaded the free sample of Scott Jurek's book, Eat and Run: My Unlikely Journey to Ultramarathon Greatness. I'm glad I read the sample before buying the whole book. I couldn't stand his writing style. I found him to be much more sympathetic and likable in Born to Run.

(Image from ChrisMcDougall.com. I was not compensated for this post in any way. Books were purchased by me for personal reading.)

Review: Spark & Hustle by Tory Johnson

A few weeks ago I had an idea. It popped into my mind suddenly and it will mean a complete career change if I decide to go through with it. I had just started doing some research when an invitation to review Tory Johnson’s Spark & Hustle came my way. Part of my research includes how to start a business so I took the opportunity to read the book. I’d never heard of Tory Johnson but I couldn’t turn down a free book that might have some good advice.

 It turns out that Tory Johnson worked for national television news shows until she was fired and decided to start her own business networking companies with job-seeking women. From there she started the Spark & Hustle series of conferences to help women start their own businesses. Johnson is a contributor on Good Morning America and to Success magazine.

I admit that the mass-market look of the cover turned me off at first. The writing is full of cliches and the kind of motivational-speaker language that I find silly. (Johnson is a motivational speaker, after all.) Many of the testimonials and examples in the book come from businesses that I don’t understand, like social network consulting. Also, many of the real-life examples seem to be full of the business owner’s own marketing copy rather than Johnson’s writing, which makes the overall quality of the book seem copy-and-pasted rather than smoothly written.

But I also admit that my little idea of a new career opportunity kept growing as I read. Johnson carefully explains the nuts and bolts of starting a business, which is exactly what I was looking for. I mentally filled out the worksheets and figured out where I need to fill in the gaps of a business plan. I honestly feel like now all I have to do is decide when to pull the trigger.

And that’s the tricky part. We don’t know exactly how much longer we’ll be in India but it will probably be about a year. We don’t know if we’ll be in the United States between assignments for a long enough amount of time for me to get the training required of my career idea. I can do a lot of reading from India but I can’t complete the necessary training. I have more than one plan in mind, depending on the where and when of our next assignment.

Many expat partners know how I feel. We know about the importance of the “portable” career but continuing one or starting a new one overseas presents even more challenges than starting a business in the United States. We have different labor laws, tax issues, and work permits to contend with. (We have to figure out internet access in countries that don’t have electricity running twenty-four hours a day.) This book won’t help with those issues but it does give a good foundation for getting started. I feel like I know what questions I have to ask.

I have my “spark” but it feels like my “hustle” might be on a treadmill for a while until we have solid answers on our next move. Until then, I’m reading like crazy and taking a few more courses toward my master’s degree. One my plans is to finish that so I have it in case we end up with a domestic assignment and I need it for getting an office job – then work on the side career in preparation for an overseas assignment after that. So many options and possible outcomes.

You can order Spark & Hustle on Amazon: Spark & Hustle: Launch and Grow Your Small Business Now  (affiliate link -- paperback and on Kindle) and see more about Tory Johnson and her events at the Spark & Hustle website. Johnson is going on a national tour this summer, so if you're looking for inspiration for your starting or growing your business, check it out.

(I received a free review copy of this book. I was not compensated in any way for this post.)

Expat Women: Confessions

I'm a frequent reader of the Expat Women website. When the founders of the site contacted bloggers to read and review their new book, Expat Women: Confessions -- 50 Answers to Your Real-Life Questions About Living Abroad, I was excited and couldn't wait to start reading.

The founder of Expat Women has been compiling letters and answers from the popular Confessions column on the website and has put the most common subjects and frequently returned to topics into one book for easy reference. What I think everyone will take away from this book is that "You are not alone." Moving within your own country, even within your own town, is hard. Moving to a new country is very hard, no matter how prepared, organized, determined, or open-minded you are. It helps to hear others' stories for inspiration.

The book is organized into different topics, such as culture shock, raising children, death and divorce overseas, and moving back to your home country. There are questions from single women, women who are the working partner, and women who are the "trailing spouse." The women featured come from a range of different countries and backgrounds, not just the United States, which emphasizes the fact that we can all relate, because we all have some of the same thoughts from time to time.

I don't consider myself a seasoned expat, but I found myself already knowing the answers to some of the questions. One problem I found with the book is that regardless of the problem, the answers were similar or overlapped. There is a lot of advice geared around getting professional counseling, which seems like a difficult thing to do if one of your issues is a language barrier and there are no counselors or therapists practicing in your native language. There is apparently a huge market for life coaching, especially those who practice expat life coaching, of which I was unaware. Most of the advice is to relax and think through the problems and decisions and to have a positive attitude. Exercise and try to make friends. The same pep talk was repeated several times. I think there's more value in the variety of questions, knowing that whatever problem you have there's one other person out there with the same problem. The answer isn't always as important as knowing someone else already asked the question.

There is a lot of practical advice on what sorts of documents and paperwork we should all have in order, especially for when emergencies arise, such as financial papers, health records, wills, and documents pertaining to legal issues in your host country.

After reading this book my feelings that as a State Department expat I think we have it much easier than other expats were confirmed. As much as we grumble sometimes, we have an automatic network in place if we choose to use it. Much of the advice given in this book is similar to what you'll get from the Family Liaison Office. Our housing is mostly taken care of, we have medical personnel and security officers on-call a lot of the time. We have mail service. We jump in to a new assignment filled with people that have just gone through the same move and we have instant access to those people to show us the ropes of a new city.

I think the book can be a valuable resource for some women. It's easy to get so involved in our own little worlds that we forget there are others out there like us but sometimes it's nice to identify with someone.

You can download a free sample of the book here. The book is available for purchase from Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions.

I received a free promotional copy of this book as a Kindle download for review purposes. The views expressed in this post are my own. I was not compensated in any way for this review. I have not enabled Amazon Affiliate links in this post.

At the Steak House

Yes, you heard me correctly. Steak in Hyderabad. Tender, juicy, perfectly seasoned grilled tenderloin. Decent, and even passable, steak is difficult to find here. Hindus and Muslims don't eat a lot of beef and the cows aren't raised for eating purposes. The few times we've bought beef to roast or grill ourselves it's been tough and no amount of pounding or marinating has made it tender enough to be enjoyable. And for some reason I always think of buying a steak for Friday night dinner, but you can't buy beef on Fridays (all the Muslim butcher shops are closed).

Since we arrived our driver has been pointing out Chef Inam's Steak House to me every time we pass it and one night Mike and our neighbor stopped there on the way home from work to pick up some take-away. Mike met Chef Inam, tried the steak, and has been insisting we get back there right away. Inam lived in the United States and took culinary classes at Johnson and Whales (Yay Rhode Island!) and has brought his American steak-grilling skills back to India. On Friday night I packed up Muffin, we went to pick up Mike at work, and we went at Chef Inam's for a steak.

This is not a steak house like you'll find in the United States and I can see why so many expats get their steak for take-away. It's a little hole-in-the-wall with a couple tables and plastic chairs. Inam grills on the street in front of the facade. There's a cooler full of sodas and water. It's a dive. But we pulled out our hand sanitizer and ate there anyway.

It was worth it. Mike got a French-style peppercorn-encrusted steak and I had what Inam calls his Boston steak, covered with herbs and English mustard. They were perfectly cooked (rare for Mike, medium rare for me), tender, and deliciously seasoned.

We took Muffin outside to watch the grilling. She was fascinated. We even gave her a few bits of meat to chew on. She loved it until she got a peppercorn. She was getting tired by then, so instead of her spitting-out yucky face, she screamed. Luckily the place was getting full of men talking and laughing loudly so no one else could hear her. We paid the bill and made a quick getaway.

Speaking of the bill, the steaks were about five or six dollars each and the serving was big enough to fill Mike and for me to eat half and bring the rest home.

Don't let Muffin's reaction deter you from Chef Inam's Steak House. She's just a baby. And we're the stupid parents who gave her spicy peppercorns, then stopped to take a picture of it.